December 31, 2005

I didn't leave my house today. I had plenty of offers to go other places. Well, really just the two, but that's enough in my books. I don't know what it is but braving the cold with one million other Tokyo-ites to stand out in front of a temple until the clock strikes midnight, then stand in line with said millions for hours to maybe have a chance to perhaps ring a bell and say a prayer then go home, just didn't have any draw for me. I stayed in. Ate some food. Watched some tv. Tried to watch some Harry Potter but it was a DivX movie and my DivX player seems to have issues with my Xvid Codec, they don't play well together. All I got was green screen. So after spending several hours and only getting minor patches to only have my DivX player play, but freeze every 10 minutes or so and to have my video completely out of sync with my audio, I blasted the whole thing off my comp, player and all. So I missed the actual New Year's ushering in as I was bogged in with stupid stuff in my brain about compatible codecs and crap that I only partially understand to begin with. Like I care. New Year's really holds no allurement, I'm rather apathetic to the whole thing. Some are rather dazzled by the event. I could sleep through it and not care. It's just another night. The only thing I'm excited about is that now we're in a year where I have no problem writing the number. I had difficulties as a kid learning to write the number 5. It never looked pretty. All my fives were rather sad looking and kinda squashed. I never did come out of it, I've just learned to live with my crappy 5's. So I'm quite excited that now it's 2006 cause I can write the number 6 with no difficulties. This is the joy that New Year's has brought to me.

December 30, 2005

I had a good day today. I met a friend at the train station and we went for a walk. A really long walk. We stopped by LeeAnne and Paul's to see if they wanted to go for Indian food. We stayed to chat for a bit with them and their friends. We hit Shanti, the Indian Restaurant by my place, for dinner and then back to my place for a bit. It was a nice day to get out and walk around and talk about real things.

December 29, 2005

I bummed around a bit in the morning and took my sweet ass time to get dressed. Around 2 I figured it was finally time to actually leave the house, I had been intending to do for like 2 and a half hours previous. I did a few errands, hit the doctors office for yet another appointment (my body hates me, unfortunately I'm not dying, ah, death, sweet release), hit the dollar store for some supplies which I had to do before hitting the poste office, which was next on my list. Ah, the poste office. Bwahaha. Jennimitri and Marilee are going to LOVE me!!!! Then I was on my way home and I decided, "Bah! I don't want to go home yet. I want to go for a bike ride". So off I went with my trusty steed Drlfan in search for adventure. Much like Tim and his friend at the Canadian border. "What is your business in Canada sir?" "We're looking for adventure." "And how long will you be in the country?" That's one of my favourite stories of all time. That and the Jonathan Shirey story about the horse in Egypt. Classics. Today does not live up to either one of those stories, but the underlying principle of living adventurously is still there. I started riding in the direction that I knew the big Aeon mall is. Usually we can only get there by train and it's hard to tell where you are when you're underground for some of it, but lately I've been watching the landscape when we come out of the tunnel (and enter it from the other direction) and I had come to the conclusion that it must be physically possible to ride my bike there without too much trouble. I really just wanted to find a way to get there to buy Jelly Belly's without having to pay several dollars in train fare. It's like almost 5 bucks round trip. That's expensive. It's but a few minutes on the train but I can get to Tokyo for a few dollars more. That train line is quite ridiculous. Back to my story. I headed off down the road and made a few turns when I thought that the road would go off in a direction I didn't want to go. I had to do a little off roading when I came to the end of the new sub-division streets. I found the Desperate Housewives Japan Edition neighbourhood. It was more than just a little eerie. I ended up in some tiny little old streets among some smelly old houses and then I came to the end of that street and Bam! Right across the road was the huge new mall. I went in and looked around. Mostly I just hit Tower Records. Stevie Wonder has a new album out! I had no idea. There's some really good tracks on it. I didn't buy it. I might when I get home. I wasn't sold on the entire album, but there's enough on there to keep me grooving if only to pull some songs off to burn a "Stevie mix tape" when I get home. Then I decided that I should try and make my way back as it was 3:30 and it would be dark soon. I really didn't want to get stuck in the dark cause then my innate sense of direction is completely lost. How innate is it if it goes away? I, of course, didn't want to take the same path home, so I opted for another route. I was really trying to find route 296 which goes right by my house, but I didn't go far enough. I ended up in a construction site down in a valley next to, what I think is, the big private school near my house. I'm still not sure where I was, but eventually I ended up on the edge of the private school and within 3 blocks of my house. It was a good adventure. I didn't buy any Jelly Belly's though.

I've decided I should become a nun.

I would make a horrible nun.

December 28, 2005

Today will be the first day that I don't cry. I did a few errands and then tried to go to the acupuncturist/chiro to see if I could get my neck thumped on. They're closed. I would have called to check but I know that his wife answers the phones at reception and she doesn't speak any English. So I've been booting around the house, trying to get more of my site up to date seeing that I have like a month's worth to get caught up on. I got a Christmas present today from Granny and Glen. Thanks for the scarf, it's lovely. And I got a book from Brooklyn that she sent me while she was still in Asia. I have good friends. We've had like 5 earthquakes now today. I think we've had 2 in the last hour. One or two earthquakes now and again is rather normal and it totally doesn't phase me. But when they keep happening I start to get a little more on edge. 5 in one day is quite a few.

December 27, 2005

I woke up late today after a good nights sleep. My eyes are nasty puffy today. I look horrible. I feel beaten down but better. I looked for a flight home and made some calls. I think I'll book one tomorrow. I started some dinner, talked to Mum and Dad, cleaned my place. Made a call to someone to apologize for something. I think I'm done there now. I ate some coconut curry and watched the first Harry Potter movie. It's a good movie, but it's scary. I don't think I would want my kids to ever watch it. It's dark and scary, like Lord of the Rings Trilogy. Not kids movies.

Maybe tomorrow will be the first day that I haven't cried in like a week and a half.

December 26, 2005

I called the house to talk to the fam during their Christmas Day dinner. I talked to everyone quickly then headed out to meet everyone at Kita station. All of us were way to tired and half asleep. No one had slept the night before. We met Yoko at Nishi Funabashi. It took us some time to make our way down to Kamakura with transfers to rapid lines and all. But we made it.

We started by finding the small train line in Kamakura. It's really cute. It looks like a cross between a turn of the century British built Asian train and a San Fran trolley car. It took us closer to the temple we were heading for. We strolled down the street to see the Daibutsu which I've visited before in the Spring. It's a huge hollow bronze Buddha statue. It was weird to see it in the winter in such sparse surroundings. So much of Kamakura is full of amazing gardens and greenery but during the winter it's much more, well, dead. We went inside the Buddha guy. It's kind of eerie. You kind of expect to see bats inside. It's like a cave.

Then we headed down the road again for Hasedera Temple. It was nice to see the ocean. It was such an incredibly beautiful day. Through much of the year most of Japan is smoggy and hazy, but through the winter it's quite crisp and clear. I really like the weather this time of year here. So the view of the ocean was stunning. We walked up the hill a little further to get a good glimpse of the town and area. We saw people surfing down in the bay. Oh! speaking of views. When we were on the train on the way to Kamakura we got a fab view of Fuji right square out the window. I saw Fuji for the first time on Christmas Eve with Paul and LeeAnne, but this time it was a really good view. It was totally cool.

We went back into town for some lunch. We saw in a travel book of Yoko's that there was an Indian restaurant so we made our way there. Turns out two of the guys there spoke Tamil so Paul was grinning ear to ear when we went in and through the meal they came and sat with us and talked to each other in Tamil. It was cool to hear Paul speaking. I, of course, love to listen to any other language and they were so happy to be able to speak their language that it was an honour to witness it all.

We made our way to the shrine at the end of the main drag. I can never remember what it's called but I've been there several times now. There was this cool tree on a little island that you take a bridge to. LeeAnne noticed it. It was all hollowed out and looked like pretty much just a dead tree with only the outer bark remaining on 3/4 's of the sides. But then out of the top were these living, green willow branches. It looked dead but there was just a bit of life still springing out from the top of it to prove you wrong. "Looks like how I feel". LeeAnne made a sad face at me. The other cool tree there, that I've never been able to get a good shot of, is this giant, giant tree at the base of the stairs up to the main shrine building. It comes all the way up to the top of the building. Yoko and I were reading the sign and we figure that it's just over a thousand years old. And yes, I was reading it too, not just her. There are a few things I can read and numbers is one of them. I'm not very good and I had to ask her if I was right, but it was still an effort.

We headed back on the train for our usual, recap the day English/Japanese lesson that Yoko and I tend to do. We go over all the words and phrases that we've taught each other throughout the day and write them down so we can remember them. I worked on the verb 'neru' to sleep, and the phrase structure of because. It's different in Japanese. In English, we say "I want to go to sleep because I'm tired", the reason follows because. You can still say "Because I'm tired, I want to go to sleep" that's not switching it around cause the reason is still following because. In Japanese, it's different 'Nemui kara netai' "I'm tired because I want to go to sleep." It might work logically in this example but not really. Think of it this way. "I'm going to put a sweater on because it's cold outside" vs. "It's cold outside because I'm going to put a sweater on". Not so much logical in English. So that was mine. Plus day counters, sort of like saying December fifth instead of December five, only they're really different in Japanese. December 5 = juu ni gatsu (dec) go (five) is WRONG. It's juu ni (12) gatsu (month) itsuka (5th day). Not 'go' – 'itsuka'. Nothing like it.

From there we decided we hadn't eaten nearly enough so we went to Funabashi city. We stopped at the 7 floor dollar store so everyone could buy wool for me to make them hats. Then we went to the usual kaiten sushi place across the road and ate waaaaay too much raw fish. It's soooo good. I always try something new. This time it was Tai. It was a massive hunk of it and I had to bite it in half just so I could eat it. It's Seabream I think. It's a really light fish, unlike salmon, but not white. It has a really soft texture like salmon but it's very light tasting, not heavy fishy. Quite good. I also had my usual of salmon and onions, clams, crab, tuna, I didn't have eel, and what else? I can't remember. It was tasty but we were all fried so it was time to go home. Especially seeing that I had had maybe just over an hour and a half sleep the night before. It was a really good day.

And then it wasn't.

It was like 6:30 in the morning back home so I woke my family all up by calling the house in such a state that I could barely speak. I just wanted to hear stories of when I was a kid, of times of innocence and of times when I was safe. I feel like I'm but a shell of myself like the tree we saw at the shrine. I talked to Dad for like 2 hours and then to Ryan for like an hour. It made me so thankful again for the amazing unit that my family is. He prayed with me for quite some time and I finally went to sleep around 3:30.

December 25, 2005

It's Christmas morning! Peace be with you.

I'm tired cause I was up so late.

I met Yoko at her station at 1 and we waited for 2 more of her friends, Kanako and Kashi. We walked back to her place and were greeted in her room with quite the spread. It looked like she had been cooking for months. She assured us it was only for a couple of hours, but it looked way more impressive than just a couple of hours. We loaded up some music (unfortunately they started with Shania, Kevin Tam would have been happy), opened the wine, and started eating. We had temaki sushi which are hand rolls so you put in a bunch of rice on a piece of seaweed and then a bunch of goodness like crab and salmon and cucumber and whatever else you want and then you roll it up in a cone shape and munch it down. She made sweet potato croquet which are little balls of mashed potato or "pumpkin" (and by "pumpkin" I mean squash, they use the word pumpkin as a general term for all squash) and then lightly floured and deep fried. Freaking good. We also had potato salad and what was the other thing. Oh, chicken and I'm still missing something else. Anyway, the food was all really good and we had a really pleasant time talking. Her brother came home and joined us with a bottle of sake.

After eating way too much food, we headed off to Tokyo to see if we could see a giant light display. We got off the train along with a thousand other people to join the several hundred thousand people who were lining the streets waiting to make there way under the light display. The three of us decided to sneak through the streets to avoid the lines. We got a brief look and decided that it wasn't worth the couple hour wait, so we headed home.

December 24, 2005

It's Christmas Eve in Tokyo. I slept in super uber late today. I got up just in time to have a shower and head out the door to meet LeeAnne and Paul in Kita. We took the Toyo in to Akihabara where Paul was getting their comp upgraded so he can run some spiffy electronic music making software extravaganza. While we were waiting for him LeeAnne and I found a random stuffed hamster that when you pull the tail he vibrates. There's an inside joke about rats and vibrating cell phones. We had to get the hamster for Paul. After Akihabara, which LeeAnne and I both hate, we headed to Shibuya to try and find the Canadian restaurant. I was hoping that they would have turkey dinner cause they had it for Christmas. Without too much effort and only one slightly wrong turn we found it and discovered that they actually have turkey dinner every day, all day, for the whole month of December. This really is the great thing about Tokyo. We were discussing it over dinner. What other major international city, particularly in Asia, particularly in a (until quite recently) very closed nation to outsiders, would you find a Canadian restaurant. For all the complaining that I do about the Japanese being closed to all that is foreign, Tokyo has got the market cornered on international cuisine. So we had a totally fabulous dinner with a tonne of gravy (just ask Paul if the gravy was any good, he slurped it off the plate) and sat and talked and played with Paul's new Christmas present...Origami, the vibrating hamster. We named him.

After dinner we headed to Roppongi to walk around on our way to the church. We found the Lambourgini/Audi dealership. Pretty cars. LeeAnne has now discovered another weakness of mine. Pretty, fast cars. We found the church which is pretty much right across the road from Tokyo Tower. It was a really nice service. The church has been having services there since like 1874, or maybe it was 1879, close enough. It's pretty small, but not tiny. It's made all out of round wood beams. It was actually quite West Coast looking. It felt like home. It's Anglican/Episcopalian so it was a super traditional Eucharist service. It was just what we were looking for. We were barely into the service when the reading was Isaiah 9 and it talks about "those who were in darkness have seen a great light". That has been my intense prayer for so long. I started to cry. That was it for the rest of the service. Through the sermon the minister told a story of a reporter who was in Bosnia in the early 90's. He was at a Christmas service in the basement of a church where there was no room to sit and no heat. The point of his preaching was that "No matter what, Life is still worth living". The minister reiterated that thought through the story and of course I cried. The music was lovely and I loved hearing the organ and a choir. It was traditional and beautiful.

After I got home I made some Rice Krispie treats for myself and put some out for a friend as a Christmas morning surprise.

It's interesting to think of what Christmas is. When all of the external celebrations and traditions are stripped away what is the point of the season. The noble answer of those in North America usually includes things like family, loved ones, good food, being aware of your blessings and sometimes other random traditions (like giving money / help to the poor, praying for peace) that get tacked on to the end. Those are all good things, but with nothing around me this year that points to the reason for Christmas (all there is, is tacky decorations, a push for more consumerism in the retail world, really bad Christmas music, and of course, KFC and to the Japanese this is Christmas) I am aware of what Christmas means to me. I always hate Christmas time back home, and that's only because I really love Christmas. I hate seeing all the external things that people try to make it and everyone seems to get it wrong. I would be perfectly happy if the Christmas season lasted like a week. I don't think we need any more time than that. It is nice to have everything stripped away so that I can make Christmas what it is to me. I have been made aware this year of the need to return to God and be aware of the coming of Christ. Christmas is a time to remember that He came in order to fulfill what God required of Him to make things right between man and God. Christmas points directly to the sacrifice honoured at Easter time. Without Easter, Christmas becomes pointless and just as meaningful as any other "religious" holiday meant to honour some good person or prophet. What has been important to me this year as I celebrate on my own is a renewing of my faith that He is God, He came to get rid of all my Sin (and that isn't specific bad things I do and think, that's the main nature of myself as a fallen person), He is the only thing that is good. Mum is right that Christmas is to be a time to celebrate that and so then you have to ask the question, what does that celebration look like? Many people have very definite ideas about how Christmas should be celebrated and I want to put my two cents in that it doesn't matter what you do. He doesn't care if you have a perfect tree, a holiday tree, a Charlie Brown tree, or any tree at all. He cares that your heart is being drawn to Himself. Everything else, and everyone else can go blow it all out their arse cause it doesn't make one bit of difference to your salvation or to His Godliness. Do what you want to celebrate, but don't make the celebration the point or your focus. That's pointless. Which is why the Christmas season this year for me has been 3 days and that's it, cause it doesn't really matter what I do or eat or the people that I see, those are all nice and fine and extra bonus good things but they aren't the point.

December 23, 2005

My first friend left today. I got up at like 11 to head over to Michelle's to take her to the airport and help her with her bags. Carrie was leaving for China for a few days as well today. Wesley also came to help with bags and moral support so the four of us trotted off from Katsutadai together. We had a fun time together. We had a good time laughing and joking and talking. I was so excited for Michelle to be at the airport and going home. I kept picturing her getting in to the airport in Edmonton and seeing family and friends there and breathing a deep sigh as she sees familiar things in English. I'm excited for her. Makes me excited for my time in March and it makes me appreciate my time with those remaining here more.

We spent more time waiting in the airport than we were intending. Michelle had some drama with her ticket. She was at the counter for ever so Wes, Carrie and I made bets as to what the reason was...not that she knows that. Shhh, it's a secret. The three possibilities were 1) she forgot her passport (she's done it before) 2) her baggage was too big so there was issues with paying for it or something along those lines or 3) there was a problem with her ticket cause it was electronic and she didn't actually have a reservation and there were no seats. We discounted the passport possibility because she needed it to even get in the airport from the train station, so that wasn't it. Unfortunately, Carrie and I won and Wes owed us 50 yen each (we each bet a hundred yen so Carrie and I have to split our spoils). I guess there was some drama over whether she had paid for the ticket or not. It was a return ticket that she had already used one leg of, so obviously she had been let on the plane coming to Japan, otherwise she wouldn't be standing in front of them. They wanted her to pay for the ticket again. She wasn't having any of that. They eventually agreed on man yen (10,000 yen = about a hundred bucks). It was surprising cause it was JAL that she was flying with and usually they're pretty good. We left her in good spirits and all was well in the end.

I'm really tired from last night. And I'm really tired of feeling nauseous. I need to get a good night's sleep cause the next three days are busy, but I've managed to mess up my neck so my whole days are spent in pain and frustration. I'll have to get out to the acupuncturist this week, maybe Tuesday will work to get things re-adjusted. It's another one of those times when I'm reminded of the power of the psyche over our physical well being. My mind is in turmoil and my body seems to be manifesting in many ways like fatigue, headaches and nausea.

December 22, 2005

I don’t know what date to actually write this under as it's 6:30 in the morning on the 23rd, but I haven't slept yet and I'm about to go to sleep so it feels like it's still Thursday so we'll go with that. Work was okay. The most important part of it is that it's over and that means that I'm done for 2 whole weeks. After work a bunch of us met for Karaoke at Shidax in Kita. It was a random assortment of people, but it ended up being a good time. There was some Japanese guy who ended up sleeping out in the hall, the guys stole my camera to take pictures of him, then they joined him. I left before everyone else. I found that most every song I was singing was reminding me of [name deleted to protect the innocent] and I was tired so I left. I found a fellow teacher sucking face in another room with a Japanese chick who had picked him up earlier in the night. It made me laugh. We'll have to chat when we get back to work in January. I'll have to remind him that something like over 60 % of the population have syphilis, or is it gonorrhea, I always get those confused. I got home and called Mum and Dad and talked to Ryan and Marcus on MSN. I find that I miss home a tonne right now. Something along the lines of needing people who are easy to talk to and who understand me right now. People who know me for me. I think I can manage to not cry myself to sleep tonight. We'll see.

This morning before work I met LeeAnne and Paul at their house for some lunch and a time with Paul on the guitar of singing Christmas songs. It was really nice. I like those two. It's still hard for me sometimes to be around them because they remind me of what I used to be, how I used to pray with faith, what I used to have at the depths of me. I still have much of it at the depths, the problem is that it's way in the depths and there's no bringing it to the surface. I'm reading Absolute Surrender still and it's interesting. Right now Murray is talking about how we need to come to the point where we realize that we cannot follow the Law and that we become Wretched Men as we realize (Romans 7) that although we desire to love God and follow him that we are unable to do so because the sinful nature still resides in us. It's a comforting thought. I definitely have tried to follow Jesus on my own strength. 'I can be good enough, I can be strong enough.' But then when I inevitably fail there is no grace that I give myself. Thanks be to God that He rescues me.

December 21, 2005

I don't like my Wednesday classes. There's like 2 students in the whole day that I actually like. The rest I just tolerate. It's exhausting pretending to like people and find them interesting.

I have had a blinding head ache for two straight days now. It's like a piercing pain right from the back of my brain into my optical nerves out my eyes. It makes it even harder to pretend to like people.

I'm not having the greatest of weeks. I love how the Psalms always seem to put words to the cries of my heart. I think that Sunday was about the only day that I haven't cried since Friday night.

Psalm 69

1 Save me, O God,
for the waters have come up to my neck.
2 I sink in the miry depths,
where there is no foothold.
I have come into the deep waters;
the floods engulf me.
3 I am worn out calling for help;
my throat is parched.
My eyes fail,
looking for my God.
4 Those who hate me without reason
outnumber the hairs of my head;
many are my enemies without cause,
those who seek to destroy me.
I am forced to restore
what I did not steal.
5 You know my folly, O God;
my guilt is not hidden from you.
6Don't let those who look to you in hope
Be discouraged by what happens to me,
Dear Lord! GOD of the armies!
Don't let those out looking for you
Come to a dead end by following me--
Please, dear God of Israel!
13And me? I pray.
GOD, it's time for a break!
God, answer in love!
Answer with your sure salvation!
14Rescue me from the swamp,
Don't let me go under for good,
Pull me out of the clutch of the enemy;
This whirlpool is sucking me down.
15Don't let the swamp be my grave, the Black Hole
Swallow me, its jaws clenched around me.
16Now answer me, GOD, because you love me;
Let me see your great mercy full-face.
17Don't look the other way; your servant can't take it.
I'm in trouble. Answer right now!
18Come close, God; get me out of here.
Rescue me from this deathtrap.
20 Scorn has broken my heart
and has left me helpless;
I looked for sympathy, but there was none,
for comforters, but I found none.
29I'm hurt and in pain;
Give me space for healing, and mountain air.
30Let me shout God's name with a praising song,
Let me tell his greatness in a prayer of thanks.
31For GOD, this is better than oxen on the altar,
Far better than blue-ribbon bulls.
32The poor in spirit see and are glad--
Oh, you God--seekers, take heart!
33For GOD listens to the poor,
He doesn't walk out on the wretched.
34You heavens, praise him; praise him, earth;
Also ocean and all things that swim in it.
35For God is out to help Zion,
Rebuilding the wrecked towns of Judah.
Guess who will live there--
The proud owners of the land?
36No, the children of his servants will get it,
The lovers of his name will live in it.

I never said this journal would always be a lot of fun and cheery. Just honest.

December 20, 2005

I sooooo didn't want to get out of bed and go to work today. I know it's just easy Christmas classes, but I still don't want to do it. It's the whole interaction thing. I'm just tired of it. My classes went well. My playgroup kids are just so cute. We sang jingle bells with jingle bells and they danced around and were super uber cute. I love the ball toss with them cause they often have no coordination what-so-ever. Komomo actually got a totally sweet basket. She threw it, it bounced off the ground and landed in the basket. We all cheered. It was rad. The rest of my day went okay.

The ladies class was nice. We just chatted and I sang for them. I found out that Kazuko is a Christian. She goes to an Anglican church somewhere, a different prefecture near a US base. I couldn't figure out where she was talking about though. She made me the most beautiful scarf. It's thick and warm and I think it's going to be my new favourite.

My kindie class kinda irked me. There's one student that is kinda mean. She's really bossy and she talks the whole time in Japanese telling the other kids what to do. She makes everything really competitive, like fetching the crayons becomes an all out, elbow throwing war. Rina was on her own in this class and she was really good, but now with Misaki in the class she's getting bad. And they both were picking on Yuya for his black Christmas tree. I was really saddened by it. They kept pointing at it and laughing and I told them to stop and looked stern. They didn't stop.

My boys class was great fun. They made origami Christmas trees. Or at least they were supposed to be, they had some issues. So it ended up being a game of kill the teacher's Christmas tree with slappers (giant fly swatter things). It was good. My tree ended up in a million pieces in the middle of the floor. Kenichi gave me a present, or shall I say Masako his mum gave me a present. After class I showed them my pictures from home. It was nice to share with Kenichi and his mum and Takahiro and his mum, Hiroyuki and his mum left.

I really just want to go to bed. I'm at the school right now and I'm probably not going to get home till around 10 tonight. It's just so late. It makes me tired just thinking about it.

December 19, 2005

I got my sorry butt up out of bed late this morning. I keep missing that first train cause I'm dicking around the house. I feel bad for Nomura-san as he's so wonderful and I've been late 3 times now. I had a nice lesson with him. I was considering dropping them cause I'm leaving soon, but I think I really want to finish up strong with him. The lessons are a lot of fun, I just need to study more throughout the week and our lesson times will actually be productive.

I got home, read some of Isaiah in a sun beam and fell asleep. I woke up when the sun beam had moved up the wall, so I decided it was time to move onto my futon. I slept for like just over an hour then woke up, stayed in bed and watched some streaming tv.

I headed into Kita to fax my Application for Special Ballot to be able to vote in the coming federal election. How was I to know that we'd be having another federal election within the year. Stupid Non-Confidence vote.

I went back home and had a really long shower once the gas was back on. Then watched more tv and chilled out. Just after midnight I called Waders for his birthday. It was so great to talk to him for like a half hour and get all the scoop on what's going on back home and to joke with him. It felt like home. I miss the usual banter with my boys. I'm afraid that when I get back it will all be different and I won't have that anymore. He said they don't play net games much anymore. So many are getting girlfriends and getting married and all that. It's a little crazy.

December 18, 2005

I got home from LeeAnne and Paul's (after running a few errands) around 3. I talked to Mum and Dad for like two hours. It was fun to hear them arguing in their usual way and Dad was giving her a hard time about having to grate lemons. They're having a big party "tomorrow night" (their Sunday night) so they were trying to get stuff done while I was on the phone. I sent them some video of my classes yesterday. Of course the kids were all cute and Mum and Dad loved seeing the video. The two Yui's were in fine form as usual. Listening to Mum and Dad talk to each other and banter back and forth made me feel like I was right there in the loft with them. Made me want to go home.

I cleaned the house a little, but dishes were interesting to do with no hot water. I haven't had hot water in my place all day. I don't know why it won't reset. I had to heat water in the microwave just to have warm water to wash the dishes and my face. I watched some tv and that's it.

December 17, 2005

Christmas classes were chill today. Pictures say it all.

I went out with a bunch of other teachers tonight for a friend's birthday. We ended up at 13 Palms, which was nice, but one of her students (a middle aged man) seemed really uncomfortable and kept trying to get us to leave and to order for us. I think it was just a bit of a cultural misunderstanding. We had a nice time though, once we worked that out. I think I was a little mean to him, but I had had a bad enough day that I didn't want to be dealing with yet other drama. While we were all waiting by the centre with the statue of liberty I fully walked away and went and cried on my own around the corner. LeeAnne found me and just held me and let me cry. I'm not having the best week. My chest feels like it's going to implode. And no, I don't want to talk about it. I ended up crashing at Paul and LeeAnne's for the night.

December 16, 2005

First day of Christmas classes. This should be an easy week. My kindies were cute and we had a good time making snowflake cards. It was nice not to feel pressure to actually teach them anything.

I joined classes with another teacher for our Junior High kids. It makes me so thankful when I see her class cause they all hate being there so much and my kids are so cool about things...and way smarter. We threw sucker balls at the board for no apparent reason what so ever. We made Santa things and raced them down the table. We did a pin the nose on Rudolph thing that was sooo much fun...not. And we did a secret code puzzle. Pretty chill. Her class is so out of control and then mine are just standing there up against the wall, chilling. We had this new guy observing us, he even noticed the difference between the kids. When asked what he wants for Christmas from Santa, Yuichi replied, "I want time." He came into class draggin his tired butt, he's been studying for High School entrance exams. The new guy mentioned it as well, it's crazy that at 14 and 15 years old these kids are having to deal with some pretty major pressure that will impact the rest of their lives.

I wonder how much we put on ourselves in the way of pressure and how much truly matters. It makes sense that these kids are having to take exams that mean a lot because in the long run it will lead to the best opportunities for them in their lives (ie. good High Schools lead to good Universities which lead to good and theoretically stable jobs), but how much of that will really play out. If you don't get a good score the first time will it mean the end of the possibilities for a good life for these kids? Are there other routes that people can choose that will lead to success and happiness? There's so many examples of different possibilities that can arise in a person's life outside of the regular course of events that most people (especially here) view as the only option for success. If Yuichi doesn't do well on his exams in Jan and Feb, will that mean that he is permanently tracked for mediocrity (not that I think that child is capable of it, he's too fabulous for mediocrity) or could there be another route that would lead to a fabulous life?

December 15, 2005

I had a really nice morning with LeeAnne today. We met at the Hanamasa at what seemed like the crack of dawn...make that 9:30. We commented on the sadness of our perceptions that 9:30 is early. Not like the 5 and 6 I had to get up when I was working breakfast at the OBBH or picking daffodils. Yup. Pretty sad. She came for a little breakfast and we got a chance to chat.

A few points that hit home with me and have stuck. Mostly they are intertwined. In 1 Peter 1 it talks about the sacrifice that God made because we are His Children and that has always resounded in my soul for me. We are not to take the gift of Salvation that Jesus offers lightly. The other is that being a Christian is not about being good, it's about surrender. This is where they intertwine. We surrender our lives, our hopes, or own wills to Him because He surrendered Himself and was obedient in order to make us free. We want to be obedient to the Father because Jesus himself was obedient. In the garden, He asked that Father to get Him out of it "Take this cup for me", but He still went ahead with it because that was what was needed. If He can obey to make us free, then we can obey to thank Him for that freedom. We also briefly touched on that when we make bad choices that it breaks the Lord's heart and grieves the Spirit in us.

Thanks for the good morning, LeeAnne.

I finished my last day of regular classes today. Now it's just a week of Christmas classes and then two weeks off. I'm glad to have the time, but 14 days just doesn't seem like enough. I want two weeks just to sleep, and then like 2 more weeks to go play around Japan. I hope to get out skiing at least one day, if not two, and I'll go to Kamakura on the 26th for Boxing Day. Not that we're going because it's Boxing Day. That's just a coincidence.

December 12, 2005

I'm really tired. I seem to be on auto-pilot and it's not like I can rest and slow down but I don't think I'm actually accomplishing anything. I am definitely forcing myself to write as I know that I will kick myself in the bum later when I look back on this year and there's huge gaps of time missing.

Today I woke up late and considered calling off my Japanese lesson but it was too late to do that so off I went without a bra in jeans and the shirts I slept in last night. Then, about half way down the elementary school wall, I realized that today was the day I was supposed to go to the school with the International Association. I suck! So back I go to my flat and a whip off my shirt and put on more appropriate attire and I frantically grab what pictures I can find lying around that look like Canada, then I call the NIA and I tell them that I missed the train (which I did, that's not a lie, if I had a car I wouldn't have been late but as is if you're 2 minutes later that means you miss the train and you're like 10 minutes later) and that I would be 10 minutes late. There was a group of us from all over the place. I was the only English speaker and the only one who couldn’t really speak Japanese at all. I really am horrible at speaking Japanese. I'm a bad and unmotivated student. We ran for the bus, as I had made us late, and arrived at an Elementary school in the Tsudanuma area. We were taken by cute little students to their class rooms where the classes had been broken up into smaller groups. I had four students, the names of which I can only remember Kouki and I think the other boy was Naoko, one of the girls was something-rara or Rara-something. I don’t remember. They were pretty quiet but Nomura-san was wonderful at keeping them talking and asking me questions and translating for us. He was my life-saver. We talked about school in Canada, the rain and snow, the RCMP, the size of the biggest fish that Ryan ever caught. It was quite nice.

Then Nomura-san and I went out for lunch. He was so nervous at first that he was actually sweating. It was a nice time. Then I headed home. I grabbed some groceries, came home and tidied, talked to Dad for a bit, watched some tv, worked on my Christmas/New Year's postcards, cleaned up some more and now I really want to go to sleep but I feel like there's too much to do so I know that I'll stay up dickin around like I usually do and accomplish nothing.

December 11, 2005

I woke up late. Nice. I talked to Mum (and Dad was in the background) for quite a while. Nice. I got ready and met Taeko at the station to head to Shibuya for an early dinner. Nice. It took some doing but I finally found the restaurant after getting lost several times, and I'm the English speaker! Cool. Dinner was fabulous Tex Mex complete with a Dos Equis with a lime. So Nice. Then we headed off on the train for Showa University. No Problem. Then we found our seats and waited for...the Harlem Gospel Choir. Oh My.

It was a small group that were performing but man they were gooooood. It wasn't as good as it could have been in that they kinda played into the sentimentality that the Japanese just EAT UP near the end. They did We Are The World with a whole bunch of the audience up on stage. Kinda cheesy, but I guess it's acceptable after I got my own dose of "church" earlier. I have to say that I was really proud of Taeko for not being completely embarrassed by the crazy gaijin that was next to her. I was a little loud. I was the only one standing and dancing for a couple of the first songs. I felt bad for the choir cause most of the audience didn't a) understand what was being said, and b) know that it's expected to verbally respond if they did understand what was being said. I kinda made up for it. I got some rather quizzical looks. At least they weren't nasty looks. Hey, at Japanese things I'm quiet and reserved and good. This was Gospel and they're on my turf now so deal with it, I'm gonna clap and move and say Amen so everyone in the whole place can hear it. And I did. "Amen!" "Wow, well, at least we got one person up there with us." Yeah. I was in the balcony. They heard me. Eventually people got into it, but it took some doing. The part that made me laugh the most, and usually does when I'm around music and ANY Japanese people, was when there was a whole whack of people up at the front and on the stage and I saw one, yes, count ONE person, up there who could clap on beat and move their feet a bit. There was one girl on stage who could clap and dance like a normal person. It made me laugh. They did a bunch of spirituals, it took my breath away. They did Silent Night like I have never heard it done before, it made me cry. There was one girl with the most amazing voice I think I have ever heard in my life. Like a Jill Scott on the Holy Spirit. The child could scat like none I have EVER heard before. I seriously just wanted to listen to her for every moment for the rest of my life. It was a good night.

Then Taeko and I set out for home. Okay. We stopped at the Combini for drinks, I found caramel corn. Hallelujah. We got back to Kita and she treated me to a drink at 13 Palms. Nice. I'm home and I can see my breath inside my house. Fun.

December 10, 2005

After work, which was so stinkin easy it's not even funny, Michelle called me and asked me to go out for some dinner. We met at my usual, Shanti the Indian restaurant down the road. We had a great time of chilling out and eating really good food and talking about everything under the sun. It was good to hear that she's been through some rough patches as well. Not that I want her to, sucks for her, but it's nice to hear that I'm not the only one.

At work I had a class of the most serious children on the face of the planet. A couple of the students were missing so I just had Rena, Ryogo and Ayumu. They are 6,5,4 respectively, going on 45. It was a good time. Very serious time. Very quiet time. Lots of looking out the window to see what's going on out there, time. Then I had Makiko who is my super 14 year old. So we were talking about shopping and that fits in nicely with Christmas, how sad is that, it shouldn't but it's actually a natural course of discussion as DISGUSTING as that may be. Anywhooo, I asked her what she would want for Christmas if she were to get presents. She thought for a while and she couldn't think of anything. I asked her if she wanted video games or a machine or something. She said that she has to study for High School entrance exams in January and February so she has no time. Then she thought of it. She said, "I want High School Entrance to a good school for Christmas. Please Santa." Have I mentioned before that most kids here are weird??? Have I mentioned before that most kids here are weird???

December 9, 2005

I had a great class with my adult students. We had our Christmas party early because I'm supposed to go meet Brooklyn next week at the airport. We ate good food and we had a good time and I sang for them. Yumi said my voice sounded like crystal. That's sweet of her. I'm so out of practice it's disgusting. I have no diaphragm control anymore.


Takuya and I had fun tonight. We chilled and played a Christmas trivia game then read a story from Stuart McLean's "Home from the Vinyl Café". It was the one about Polly Anderson's Christmas Party where the wrong punch bowl goes down to the kids rec room. He laughed at all the right places.

December 7, 2005

Today suuuuucked. I don't know what it is about Wednesdays but I'm always in a bad mood when I go and then the day just goes down hill from there. I think there was two funny points in my whole day. My last class is a private and this week she had two hours cause she was making up classes she missed earlier. We were talking about dating and relationships and I was trying to model the sentence structure for a relative clause using 'who'.

Structure:
I like guys who...

Example I put on the board:
I like guys who make me laugh.

That's a good clean example right?? So what do I get for language output??
"I like guys who no domestic violence."
"Um, okay, you mean, you like guys who don't hit you."
"Yes"
"Alright, let's write that on the board...I like guys who don't hit me. Can you think of others? What were some of the things we thought of earlier that you look for in a guy, like being a gentleman?"
"I like guys who aren't drunk."
"Right, that's right. We don't like drunks. Let's put that up there. I don't like guys who are drunks. Good."

This is the way my classes often go. I taught her the noun 'a drunk' meaning someone who drinks all the time and spends all his time at the bar. Next fun time was when we were doing another exercise of asking each other questions like "Is it okay to kiss someone on the first date?". At the end we had to make up our own. My question for her was "How long do you think people should date before they get married?" She said "Maybe a year". She's twenty for the record. Then she said, "How about you? What do you think?" To which I replied, "Well, I think that if you're in your early twenties it should be 3 years or so. But as you get older you know who you are and you probably have a job and career figured out, sort of anyway. So maybe you don't need to date for very long before you get married." She still didn't look convinced so I continued, "I think the younger you are, the longer you should date, but the older you are, the shorter the time you can date". Finally it clicked with her, "Oh yes! I think so too. Maybe the older people don't have so long." At which point we both started laughing, me in a shocked and appalled way, her in a self-delighted way. She tried to keep going to the next question but she kept stopping and laughing at herself and how funny she thought she was. As mind-numbing as that class usually is, for a moment it was quite fabulous.

December 5, 2005

I got to share my pictures with Nomura-san today. He is so sweet. I'm still not catching on to the Japanese stuff though. It just doesn't stick in my head.

December 3, 2005

My 30th birthday

I woke up alone in a strange country, late for work where I didn't really want to go.

At least my teaching day is easy, although I got roped with a trial for a kid and the mum totally didn't jive with me. I don't think she likes me. Meh. Like I care.

I got flowers from Yui, he's 4. I got a calendar from Masami my private adult student. Very nice of them to remember me. I found out from the receptionist that last week when I wasn't there Yui cried for pretty much the whole class and clung to his dad's leg. Poor thing. I don't know what it is with these kids. It's like the ones who pay the least attention to me and disobey me the most are the ones who miss me the most when I'm gone. What are they going to do when I leave in March??? Mwa ha ha. I'm outie.

I got together for dinner with Chris and Yasuko at my place then we went to the restaurant with LeeAnne and Gina. Yoko came late and Wesley and Carrie were no shows. Carrie got sick (pooey, poor Carrie) and Wesley got caught up in his work so he wasn't going to get there until like just after 9. We left at like 9:15 or so. It was gooood food. I love the food there. I wish I had more money cause I would eat there every freakin day if I could afford it. The food was good. The conversation was good. The people are fabulous people. It was a good time. They all of course can't follow directions and disobey me as I was specific in telling everyone that I gifts would NOT be accepted, and they all brought me something. LeeAnne (you're fabulous) said that the CD was some burned worship music so it doesn't really count and she gave me flowers which she said are going to die therefore they don't count. I still don't think she's off the hook. And Chris and Yasuko tried to justify it because it's a fabulous 2 L carton of sake they found that's called Devil Killer (in Japanese of course) for 500 yen (that's 5 bucks). It's kind of like giving a box of wine. So theirs isn't supposed to count either. Which ever way you look at it, I got some fun presents that either exist or don't exist. Whatever.

December 2, 2005

Evidently last week when I wasn't at school, my little Mei had a fit when I wasn't there. That's my girl. Poor substitute teacher. I was told that Mei just kept crying, saying, "Chigau sensei. Doko Michelle sensei?" Poor thing. I don't know why she likes me though. It's odd.

Then it was time for the birthday celebrations to begin. I had treats with Yuichi, Tomomi and Izumi. It was good fun. It will be Yuichi's birthday on the 5th so we celebrate both of ours. He gave me a present too! I was floored. It looks like a soup cup with a saucer and a spoon. What a doll. We had cake and he brought these firecracker popper things that were freaking loud. It hurt the ears. My next class was the returnees, Takuya and Shunsuke. We had cake again. Or at least all of them did. I didn't.

December 1, 2005

I feel bad for my ET2 class as they are being shuffled through the book at a rather unreasonable rate, if you ask me. Two pages a day. They just aren't able to retain that much info when it's only once a week that we meet and only for like 50 minutes. It's just ridiculous and speaks to the inadequacies of the theories by which the standards are set. They've gotten it all wrong somehow and that's not good. It's just off kilter.

November 30, 2005

My last class with Shiori and Hana, these two teenaged girls who evidently seem to hate life. Hallelujah. Bad part about today, there was a HUGE gokiburi on the bookshelf today, just chilling out. I was told they all like went into hibernation or something in the winter. Evidently, not so much. I made my co-worker kill it. Means I'm going to have to still be diligent about food around the house. I was getting more lax, but no more.

November 29, 2005

I got in at like 6 am and headed back on the trains for my little neighbourhood. I was glad to be back where I could feel comfortable and could hide away from the rest of the world. Rested for a bit, threw in laundry. Took my film in for developing and then when I picked up my pictures I discovered another roll of film, so I put it in too.

November 28, 2005

I slept in today and checked out just after eleven. My feet hurt so badly. I dropped my bags off at Kyoto station but it took at least a half hour just to find an available locker. It was a busy day. Everyone and their miniature dogs in hand bags were in Kyoto. I ended up being in a really bad mood. I was worried about what I'd be going home to, me feet hurt like none other, there were insane crowds pretty much everywhere I went. The only place where I got some solitude was at the old Emperor's palace grounds where I found a patch of grass to lay on and have a rest and cry. It was really beautiful out, sunny and the trees around the grounds are cool. Lots of pines that remind me of Oregon and some maples that were in full colour.

I walked around the city more. I tried to find Yasuko, her mum and Robbin, so that I could say thank you to her mum and good bye to all of them. It wasn't meant to be. Instead I found a small temple where I sat and took some pictures, and cried. I went for some kaiten sushi for lunch...and then again for dinner. It was good stuff and reasonably prices. It's a good thing that I don't have a place like that near my house (or like the one in Funabashi) cause I'd be there everyday if I could. To kill some time I went back to the Thai massage place at the hotel near the Old Emperor's Palace and got an hour massage. I walked around some more and I ended up sitting in front of the giant Christmas tree in Kyoto station after dark.
I found Chaffee and then I also saw Christophe from the hostel so we all sat and chilled out watching the crazy people get their pictures taken with the singing Christmas tree. I went to the hotel where the bus was leaving from and found a mall thing inside so I went for some Mister Donut and bought some earrings to go with my new hat. Then off on the bus and home to Ueno, Tokyo.

November 27, 2005

Today was the big wedding day. I got up early to get ready and did my hair before being dressed. I put flowers in my hair and with my dark eyes, hair and hoop earrings, I must admit that pre-kimono I looked more Spanish than Japanese. I met at the station with the Brackens, Chris and Chaffee. We went to the wedding place to be dressed. It took some doing. I was first of the non-Yasuko dressers. They had issues with my boobs. They had to get another special band that cost extra. Fabulous. I was bound down pretty good and for the rest of the day I had a fabric band digging in right across my nipples. It felt just dandy. The rest of the kimono experience wasn't so bad...but that strip of fabric was BRUTAL at times. So after being dressed and Robbin having her hair done we all headed downstairs where the men had been waiting for a very long time. It's not that we took longer than expected, we were right on schedule but it took like a half hour for each of us, and like an hour and a bit to dress Yasuko.

We got into taxis and headed for the shrine. The roof of the taxi opened up so they could fit Yasuko's head in the taxi. Her hair was so high and the hat thing so tall that it didn't all fit in the car so they had to take part of it off while she was in the car. All us ladies had these rope things around the seat in front of us so that we could hold onto the rope to keep us from sitting back in our seats. You don't want to squish the obi (that the big wide thing of fabric around the waist).

Once at the shrine we went into this big banquet looking room. I sat near the Brackens and I think we were all at a loss of what to do. There were some of Chris' host families at the same table as us, but most barely speak any English anymore so there wasn't a whole lot of small talk. I guess that Chris and Yasuko had to sign some stuff or something but it was a little unclear as to why we were there. We had some mochi looking things but it wasn't. They were different. Some sort of rice and anko celebration goodness. They were yummy.

Then we all set off for the actual shrine, shrine. We all lined up outside with Yasuko and Chris at the front with a big umbrella thing over them. We lined up behind the person we were there for, so Yasuko's family was behind her and we were all behind Chris. Of course there was a bit of a kuffuffle over me being at the back as the shrine people (I don't know what they're called, like nuns, but not) just saw "white girl in kimono" and figured I must be the sister so they're trying to move me around to a family spot as I'm like "Imooto janai, tomodachi desu" and the translator is trying to come to my rescue and it was all terribly annoying as it was fuss over me, which I hate anyway, at a time when all fuss should have been over Chris and Yasuko. Oh, above that means, 'I'm not the sister, I'm a friend'. So we all walked to the main shrine area then up to a side part where we took off our shoes in silence and went into one of two small doors that led into a little room. That was were the ceremony took place. There were seats on either side of the room that we sat on with Yasuko's people on one side and Chris' people on the other and Chris and Yasuko in the middle (with a few over flow of Yasuko's friends behind them as well). I don't know what went on in the ceremony but in the corner there were three guys who played these cool Japanese instruments at certain times. There was some stuff said and they sipped some sake then the parents sipped some sake (they were only supposed to sip once but Chris didn't tell them that so they did the same as Chris and Yasuko and did it three times, of course her parents were wonderful and when it was their turn, they sipped three times as well so that the Bracken's saved face) and some more words and then we prayed (clap twice, bow, clap once more). It was really cool to be a part of it. We headed outside for some pictures. We had one with all of us, then lots of Chris and Yasuko and some with their families. There were also a tonne of kids around as it was Shichi-Go-San where kids who are 7, 5 and 3 go to the shrine for blessings. They come in full traditional dress. Too cute. They were everywhere. There was also two other weddings at the shrine at the same time.

We got into taxis again and headed for the restaurant. I'll write about this later.

Chaffee and I got into a taxi for the last time today and headed back for the hotel. It was fun trying to give the taxi driver directions of where to go and then we tried to get him to stop and he wouldn't cause he thought that we were lost, but we knew exactly what we wanted to do. We dropped off some stuff and then went for a really long walk south of Kyoto station. We came across Toji temple which, I believe used to be the tallest pagoda in Japan. It may still be, I'm not sure. Maybe it's just the oldest. I'll have to look that up. We found a random art gallery and went in for a quick look then walked back to the hotel. I got in and talked to Christophe, this German guy here who wanted to see some pictures of the day. Now I'm going to hit the hay by 10:30 and sleep for as long as I can.

November 26, 2005

I took my own sweet ass time getting out of bed this morning. I couldn't be bothered to do anything. I met up with the Brackens at their hotel just before 11 and after some more stalling we set out in search of this huge long food market. It was fun to watch Mrs Bracken stop and faun over each stall. We saw all sorts of fish and pickled goodness and such. We came out the other end at a big shopping district full of random shops. Then began the fun of trying to find a subway station to take me to meet Chris and Yasuko. We walked along way only to discover once I met with Chris, that we met just across the river from where we were to begin with. Ah the joys of traveling. On the way to the restaurant with Chris and Yasuko we walked through a shrine (I can't remember the name). In the middle of it there was a bunch of people doing a sword thing display. It was pretty cool but we were in a hurry so we had to keep moving. Chris, Yasuko and I went to the restaurant together to finish some planning and set up. We took about an hour longer than we had anticipated and were very late for dinner at the Kobayashi's. It meant that the Brackens and the Kobayashi's were left alone, with no interpreter, for a very long time. They evidently did just fine together. We finally arrived and had a wonderful dinner of Sukiyaki. It's a big hot pot with meat and fish and greeny goodness and mushrooms and tofu. We ate too much. Then we had to hoof it back to Kyoto station so that I could make curfew on time and not get locked out of my dorm, without a shower. I actually made it in time to shower quick but then I discovered that someone had jacked my one and only little hand towel, so I had to dry myself off with my hoodie and then wrap my hair in it and put clothes on before leaving the shower area. Good times. Good times in hostels.

November 25, 2005

I arrived in Kyoto at like 6:30 in the morning after a really bad sleep on the bus. I just couldn't get comfortable and then because I had taken a melatonin I was all grumpy cause I was sooo tired but I couldn't sleep. Made me grumpy for all of today. That and my feet and back hurting. I must say though that I got a lot accomplished in the way of sight-seeing today.

I dumped my bag to start with at the hostel and then hoofed it north to try and find a subway station. That took me out to near Nenzo-ji or whatever the fat it's called. That was supposed to be the start of Philosopher's Walk from there, and easy to find, but it was far from it. My guide book has been pretty good in regards to all things Tokyo (although it is missing a lot of things that I think should be in there), but it's like someone came and spent like an afternoon here in Kyoto and then wrote things about it like a year later when their memory is all fuzzy. I do need to take this occasion to rant right now about maps. I think I am going to go on a world wide crusade to make sure that all maps posted are directionally situated in the reality of the area. So when you are at a station and lost and you are all excited cause you've found a map that will tell you where to go, you will actually be able to find the items on said map...as opposed to getting more lost than you were to begin with. When you look at the map and it looks like you turn right to get to where you are going, then it should actually be a right that you turn in the real world from the situation of the map. That only makes sense!!! But nooooo. And it's not just posted maps. It's tourist maps as well that have a main street as the centre of the map and then everything situated around it so that it looks like everything runs either North-South or East-West. If this is NOT the case then the maps should have a North directional indication to specify such. Okay. I'm done now.

So I set off from the Nen's Zen, G - Temple (as I have aptly named it to give homage to Nen, it's actually Nanzen-ji) and went in the direction of the crowd. Oh, before I left, there's this cool huge red-brick aqueduct thing that is STILL IN USE. It was totally cool. I thought of Granddad when I was up there and I know he would have gotten a total kick out of how they had designed it and built it way back when and all that. So I did eventually find the Walk. It runs along a beautiful canal that's lined with cherry trees that are all turning red and little shops selling fun touristy (and surprisingly, mostly well done, nothing exceptionally tacky till later on) things. There's a couple more temples along the route and I think I like a couple of them better than the big draw temples. One was a nunnery that had the most beautiful, simple garden. It wasn't very big and it cost 500 to get in but it was well worth the money. The route ends at "The Silver Shrine", Ginkaku-ji, which never did receive it's planned silver coating so it's all wood and I think it's much better that way, as fond as I am of silver and all. It was really crowded but it had a certain quality that was above par to the rest.

I made my way back to Kyoto Station on the bus, falling asleep every two minutes, I just couldn't stay awake. And by now I was really grumpy and back in the city. I decided to try and get to the hotel that I had first wanted to stay at but it was full to see about getting a Thai massage. They were available so I had this very nice lady pull me in all sorts of random directions. She was very nice and she kept telling me what I beautiful face I had. She thought I was Spanish. Ah. It's nice to be traveling again and to have people think I'm more beautiful than I am. That's the way it's supposed to be, as opposed to all these dumb ass Japanese who just look down on you for not being one of them and supposedly fat. From the massage in the hotel I walked over to the Old Imperial Palace. I will have to go back when the light is better. It was 3:30 and the sun was already going down so we were passed the good shadows stage. I got on the subway to try and find Nijo castle and had some difficulties with the maps posted and the one in my book. Grrr. Then the guide book said that the last admission was 4:00. Well, I guess I won't be going in. It was late and I was getting even more grumpy than I was before so I decided to try and make my way back to the hostel. I ended up right back at the same subway that I had had issues with the map at. Double grrr. But I made it and I'm here and I'm going to go to bed now. It's 6 pm. I don't even want to go out and walk to find some food, my feet are THAT sore. You know it's got to be bad if Michelle doesn't even think that food is worth it. That's really bad.

November 24, 2005

At school I actually had a good time teaching. Ami in my MT1 class was pissing me off. She cries all the time now and for no reason. She won't do anything herself unless I'm sitting right next to her. I can tell her things, but if I'm not right beside her then she won't do them. Then the ET2 class. We played what time is it Mr Wolf. It was a crowd pleaser. And they got stickers. It was a good class. The clincher today was the ET4 class with the kids who don't like me. They don't hate me anymore. It's Misako (girl)'s birthday tomorrow so I gave them Candy Corn. The best was playing Dance of the Ostriches. The kids get a card on their back and they are trying to see what the other person has without letting them see what they have. It's priceless. After the two boys played I had to make a rule about no touching or it could get really violent. It was great fun.

Then off for the bus station. I got on the bus and bunkered down for the night. It was small and uncomfortable, but not too bad. I'm glad I'm short.

November 23, 2005

I talked to Mum and Dad till like 3 last night cause I figured I'd be able to sleep in this morning. Not so much. Nomura san called me at like 8:30 to tell me that he had gotten my email and would be glad to come with me to the Elementary school. I finally fell back asleep when the gas guy who was supposed to come on Dec 5th between 1 and 2 showed up at my door at 10. Well that was it. I was up. I made plans with Chris to meet and I discovered that the museum with the Hokusai exhibit was open today, so I headed into Tokyo just after 12. I really didn't want to go anywhere today.

I went around the museum a little bit. I couldn't get into the Hokusai exhibit, it was too busy for the short time I had, I never would have made it. So I went in the general Asian collection. Some thing about seeing carvings of a god from over 4000 years ago makes me weep. I headed out to Asakusa to meet Chris and Yasuko and the Brackens in front of the Sensoji temple gate. We were all late, I was lost and they were just late so it worked out just fine. We walked down the route of all the booths, I think the Brackens would have stopped at everyone if they could have. We ate sembe and looked at all the touristy things. We got to the temple and took some pictures, got our fortunes and went in the temple. Mr B and a good fortune. Yasuko's was regular, Chris, Mrs B and I all had bad fortunes. Mine was officially bad, but I kind of liked it "You cannot go forward, you must return to your home country. In your home country you will not find conflict, you will be at peace." I'm okay with that. My other favourite part was, "The person you are looking for will come, but will be late". I'll read that how I want to read that. Unfortunate that I don't believe it. As I was shaking the container I was praying that only the Lord would be in my fortune, and then I shook and shook and nothing would come out. It was quite funny. I was starting to figure that I was to die tomorrow as I didn't have a fortune. We went around the side of the temple and found some booths to eat at. They had some takoyaki (octopus balls), Robbin had some okonomiyaki (cabbage, veggie, Japanese pizza goodness) and I had a GIANT long hotdog. Then we got some deep fried mochi.

We went from there we were done eating and we took the subway to a kitchen district. There's some incredibly beautiful pottery there. Then we decided to go pick up my bag full of stuff to go back to Canada, I don't think the Brackens are going to be able to take ANY of it, and head home. I talked with Yasuko about the kekkon shiki MC stuff and I left them at Tokyo station.

Now I'm packing for Kyoto and I need to shut off the comp so that I can get it in the bag first and then pack everything else around it.

November 21, 2005

I met the Brackens today at 11 in at Gotanda, that way they only had one easy train to brave by themselves. From there, we headed to Tokyo station to try and find the Imperial Palace. The biggest difficulty was trying to find an exit to get out of the freaking building. Then we walked across the road and off into the big city. It was fun to see the Brackens so excited about everything around them. They wanted to stop and look at all the trees and plants. It probably would have driven Chris crazy cause he's like that, but I loved seeing Tokyo through their eyes. It's like experiencing Christmas morning through the eyes of a 4 year old. Everything is still magical and surprising and different and unexpected. It was just what I needed after the really crappy week I've had. I'm hitting another bout of either home sickness or culture shock, or more likely both at the same time, so listening to them admire everything around them from the clean streets, to the different flora, to the trains that are on time...confusing, but on time, really helped me to be able to look around again with new eyes and say, "Yeah, I live somewhere cool. I live in Japan. When else am I going to be here to experience this."

So we saw the Imperial Palace grounds as the main part of the Palace you obviously can't go into as there's people, Imperial people, living there. We decided to walk all the way around it which was quite the distance but it was really pleasant and an absolutely beautiful day. The sun was out for most of the day and it wasn't warm so it was crisp and beautiful. We came around the side where the Buddokan is and went down to the subway from there to Ginza the shopping district. We found a random little restaurant to have lunch. We had a brief Japanese lesson again at the table and a nice meal. Robbin kept trying out her Japanese on the waitress. It was great fun. Then we hit the washroom before walking some more. She found the toilets with the controls. I laughed. Lots. She even took pictures of the controls. You all thought I was making this up before about the toilets. I'm not the only one infatuated with the mystery that is Japanese toiletry. After lunch we walked around Ginza a bit. We went to the Apple store which is unbelievable. I think Coulter would end up being the troll that lives in the corner that never leaves if he were ever to enter the door. Then Robbin and I went in a giant paper store that has 9, yes count them, 9 floors of stationary type items. We barely hit 3 floors and our feet gave out on us. We met back up with Keith and we were on our way back to Tokyo station where we split up for the evening.

November 20, 2005

I went over to Narita today to meet Mr and Mrs Bracken at the airport with Chris and Yasuko. It was so good to see them, they both looked fantastic. We decided to take the JR Express back into Tokyo as opposed to trying to brave the regular JR lines with all the baggage. It was a great ride. It went from Narita to Chiba City to Tokyo. Most excellent. That's the way to see Chiba! We flew by Makuhari Hongo and at about 100 miles an hour I was able to "point out" our school there. It was great to watch Mr Bracken looking out the window. He just sat there taking it all in with this very contented grin on his face. Mrs Bracken is full of questions and wanting to know all about cultural stuff and bits of language. It's so great to see them both so excited and interested in this culture that their son has fallen in love with. They didn't look tired at all but seemed really excited to take in all that they could as quickly as possible.

We managed to get all the luggage and ourselves home to Yasuko and Chris' place without too much hassle. We chatted for a bit then decided to head to the grocery store to get some dinner. We made a hot pot kind of thing with chopped up greens, mushrooms, tofu and cod and snapper. It was delish. Robbin had her first full glass of beer, or so she thought. She wasn't sure if maybe she had had a glass of beer with some Indian food once. All in all it was a great welcome to Japan. I headed home to rescue Drlfan from the street and get some very needed sleep.

November 16, 2005

I'm a planning machine. I have all my Wednesday classes except the two privates planned all the way up to Christmas break or quitting time. Heck yeah. I have one class (private 2 girls who hate the class) that is canceling at the end of this month and another private student that isn't coming for like three weeks. I think that the first week in December I will actually be done work at like 6 o'clock. If that's true, I'm sooo going swimming that night.

I had another delightful morning with Kiyoko and friends. There was another lady, Naoko, there who spoke English very well but she had only learned in Jr High and High School. I was impressed. Then Michiko arrived a bit later. We made pressed flower postcards. Sachiko, I think that's her name, arrived quite late, just in time for eating. We had some lunch, most of which I couldn't eat and although last time I indulged, my skin is in such bad shape right now that I decided to play it safe, eat very little, and take a bunch home with me to give to Matthew. I had some candies that are from Kyoto. The Princess was married yesterday, to a commoner no less, and they had the same candies as the wedding gifts. I also learned about some candy that they eat at Shichi Go San (7-5-3 Festival) that's called Chi tose ame (one thousand candy) which is a Thousand Year Candy that if you eat it you're to live for a thousand years. Unless of course you're an insulin dependent diabetic. Then maybe not so much as a thousand years.

My house is feeling quite cozy now that everything is moved into the one room and I can crowd in all sorts of books and crap and turn on the heat and take off my shirt and it's a happy little Michelle room.

November 15, 2005

Work is stupid. Lots of politics and people aren't doing their jobs. Reactive management all over the place. A fax was sent out today all about this and that and be sure to always be in your dress code and don't bother the receptionists and something else stupid and piddly. As far as I can tell it's problems with one or two certain teachers. This is not the right way to go about things. You have a situation. It needs to be dealt with. But it doesn't concern the entire school, or even MOST of the teaching staff. Deal with the people directly that need to be dealt with and allow the others to continue in the positive environment they were living in. It is ineffective and demoralizing to come down hard on an entire staff when it is the actions of one or two that need to be modified. This is the aspect of reactive management that I don't like. Managers come up against a difficult situation and of course you don't want to have to deal with it again so instead of talking to the people directly they involve all staff in an attempt to curb any future unwanted behaviours. The problem with this thinking is that it does nothing to actually curb the behaviour at hand because the specific perpetrators probably have no idea that they are causing grief. Instead it causes the staff as a whole (most of whom are completely abiding by appropriate behaviour and guide lines) to question each other as well as themselves. I saw the fax and immediately I felt like I was being scolded. I then started to think of all the things that could possibly be a problem. I often talk to receptionists, I think that we should be encouraged to do so, so that we all feel like we're part of a greater team as opposed to the divisiveness that occurs with an us vs. them mentality (which I have seen actually lead to racism at the school, all the Japanese receptionists are stupid, all the gaijin teachers are stuck up and conceited). So now I start doubting myself. Who have I offended? What have I said wrong? Upon reflection there's a darn good chance that it has absolutely NOTHING to do with me but because it is out there, although due to only a minute few individual's behaviour, I feel like I need to be walking on egg shells.

There is much that I want to complain about and to say to help them improve, but quite frankly I don't want to rock the boat so I will continue on my path, doing as I believe is within the bounds of the framework they have set for us, and I will keep my mouth shut.

It's officially winter. People everywhere are complaining about how cold it is. I checked the weather report. It's only 10 degrees at night. I don't believe it. It feels way colder than it does on the island. Not that it's bad, and certainly not as bad as people make it out to be. All you need is a sweater under your jacket and away you go. The mornings are pretty chilled though, I have to admit. Especially seeing that tonight is clear. It drops pretty good with no cloud cover, which is why I don't believe it's only ten. That said, I have had my heater on the last two nights. I may like it cooler, but I still like to lie around with no clothes on. Not that I've been able to, even with the heater on. It's still kinda drafty.

Last night I moved my kotatsu into my tatami room. I feel all cozy and much more comfortable sitting on my bed as I'm on the comp. So now I have an entire room in my house that is completely empty except the closet in the room, my rice cooker, and some jackets and packs that are hung on the wall. I may move a coat or two into this room now where I used to hang my yukata. The surprising thing is that even with the heater on, my closet and all the clothes therein are positively ice. I even leave the door open, the heat just doesn't seem to make it's way into the space.