I don’t know what date to actually write this under as it's 6:30 in the morning on the 23rd, but I haven't slept yet and I'm about to go to sleep so it feels like it's still Thursday so we'll go with that. Work was okay. The most important part of it is that it's over and that means that I'm done for 2 whole weeks. After work a bunch of us met for Karaoke at Shidax in Kita. It was a random assortment of people, but it ended up being a good time. There was some Japanese guy who ended up sleeping out in the hall, the guys stole my camera to take pictures of him, then they joined him. I left before everyone else. I found that most every song I was singing was reminding me of [name deleted to protect the innocent] and I was tired so I left. I found a fellow teacher sucking face in another room with a Japanese chick who had picked him up earlier in the night. It made me laugh. We'll have to chat when we get back to work in January. I'll have to remind him that something like over 60 % of the population have syphilis, or is it gonorrhea, I always get those confused. I got home and called Mum and Dad and talked to Ryan and Marcus on MSN. I find that I miss home a tonne right now. Something along the lines of needing people who are easy to talk to and who understand me right now. People who know me for me. I think I can manage to not cry myself to sleep tonight. We'll see.
This morning before work I met LeeAnne and Paul at their house for some lunch and a time with Paul on the guitar of singing Christmas songs. It was really nice. I like those two. It's still hard for me sometimes to be around them because they remind me of what I used to be, how I used to pray with faith, what I used to have at the depths of me. I still have much of it at the depths, the problem is that it's way in the depths and there's no bringing it to the surface. I'm reading Absolute Surrender still and it's interesting. Right now Murray is talking about how we need to come to the point where we realize that we cannot follow the Law and that we become Wretched Men as we realize (Romans 7) that although we desire to love God and follow him that we are unable to do so because the sinful nature still resides in us. It's a comforting thought. I definitely have tried to follow Jesus on my own strength. 'I can be good enough, I can be strong enough.' But then when I inevitably fail there is no grace that I give myself. Thanks be to God that He rescues me.
