March 30, 2006

I've started working for Janice this week. I'm on full time already. It's a little sooner than I was expecting, but I'm glad for the distraction. It would really suck if I had nothing to do and just spent all my days sitting at home, thinking, being bored. I would like to be able to have more time in my day to be active as I miss Drlfan already. She was a good bike. I've gotten really used to things at work already and I think it's going to be good for at least a while. I think that it would be good to stick around for at least a year but I could see myself staying for two or three because I would get comfortable. I don't know if it's what I'm supposed to be doing, but as of late, I'm more of the philosophy that what ever you're doing is what you're supposed to be doing as long as you're doing something. So like even if I were to take a week and sit at my parents' place it would be doing exactly what I should be doing because I would be relaxing and taking it all in. Now, if I didn't plan it and just coasted as opposed to chose to be there, then I wouldn't be doing what I should have been. It's not the actual circumstance, it's the way you go about it. Anyway, I think it will be good with Janice. I just need to figure out what is going to be the best system for her. I need to get into her brain and into the core of the business to figure out what 'the best' is going to be. It does feel weird doing different work. It's easier and yet more difficult at the same time, as teaching. I don't need to interact with people as much, that's fo shizzle. That's a really big one. I think I'm more mentally drained at the end of the day, not emotionally and interpersonally drained. Like, when I was teaching I was interacting so much that I didn't want to do anything with anyone. Now, I may be working more hours but the tasks that I work on are kinda my choice, at least in what order and for how long, and I come home tired but wanting to interact with the world around me as opposed to hide away from the world like I did in Japan.

I broke down today and I bought a mobile! I have entered the 21st century. It's astounding I know. It's official. The iron age has finally ended. Michelle has a cell phone. The world will be catapult into a whole new era now. We can now move into a completely wireless, paperless community, now that I have finally gotten up to speed. I decided that it was just time and it's supposed to be a convenience and I usually railed against it because for so many people it has gone beyond and it isn't anymore. But to fight the mobile phone thing was becoming incredibly inconvenient for me, so I may as well make things easier. I don't know where I'm going to be living all the time. I need something for work and family so people can get a hold of me. And I have a rad phone number that I can keep for all time, or for as long as I'm able to pay for it.

I'm up at 5:50 tomorrow, so I really must hit the hay...at quarter past ten. No longer a night owl, am I.

March 25, 2006

I went shopping with the girls today.  I first went to Aveda and got my hair cut.  It's a bit of an odd length.  I really liked it longer, but it was nasty so we needed to free my head of the nast.  It'll grow.  Then I met Heids and Brooky for lunch at Café Mexico.  We had a nice time talking and eating waaaay too much really good food.  Then we were off to spend my hard earned cashola.  We had a fun time shopping.  I think the best spot for all of us together was Value Village.  It's always a crowd pleaser.  It was funny having all three of us together cause we connect on such a deeper level but we're all from completely different worlds from each other, and yet they really intersect.  I love those girls.  Heidi wasn't feeling well so she headed off after a good several hours of spending money.  Brooklyn and I met up with a friend of hers who was hanging out playing music in Market Square.  We ended up spending quite some time enjoying the sun and chilling out listening to Daniel play the guitar and his friend Mike beat on a little drum.  Then we decided that we needed to watch a hockey game and eat pizza and drink beer.  Brooklyn and I went in search of pizza at the Joint where they have freaky crust and cheese that I can eat, as well as normal things for normal people.  We all met up at Daniel's place and ate and watched tv.  He's a bit of an odd character.  We watched a bit of the game, but I was pretty tired so I headed home.

March 23, 2006

I finally made it to the bank.  And they ripped me off.  Not actually, just in my mind.  The Yen is actually less than a dollar now.  It has done a flip since I arrived in March last year.  Totally lame.  In my mind, but not in reality, I'm down 6 to 7 hundred dollars.  But that doesn't actually exist so I just have to suck it up.  I managed to stay awake longer today in the afternoon.  I was still up at 4:45 am on the dot, yet again this morning.  I stuck it out till 3:30 this afternoon before I crashed on the couch.  Then Heids called and we talked for like an hour so that was a good thing.  Now I can barely keep my eyes open cause I'm so exhausted.  So I'm going to bed.

March 22, 2006

I didn't sleep much last night.  I woke up at 4:45, pretty much right on the nose.  Odd time to be awake, especially seeing that I got to bed last night at like 11-11:30 –ish.  I made breakie for the fam and lit the fire and all that.  I wrote some emails to the folks back "home", in Japan.  I bummed around with Mum for a bit, then fell asleep on the couch.  I was only going to sleep for like an hour, but I ended up sleeping for a heck of a lot longer.   Try like four hours.  We tried to get into the bank at Mill Bay, but it took us both so long to get going after my sleep (and I don't think it can be considered a nap as it was about the same length of time as my regular sleep last night) that we missed the bank closing by like 2 minutes.  Bummer.  We went grocery shopping at Thrifty's.  I could have bought the whole store, but I didn't, I was very restrained.

When we got home, I made some dinner for them and we watched some tv and Transporter 2 as Dad had rented it.  I had a shower around 11 and was in bed by 12:15.  We'll see if I can sleep for more than 5 hours this time.

March 21, 2006

This is quite literally going to be the longest day of my life.  With the 17 hour time difference, March 21st is going to last about 41 hours for me.

March 20, 2006

The inspection went really well.  They were impressed with how clean it is here.  There's still more I could do, but seeing that they're happy, I'm not doing anything else.  I dropped some stuff off at the school then went into Funabashi again.  It's a beautiful day out and I was able to walk to and from the station and watching out the window.  I've been able to notice all the things I see.  The roofs, the people, the neighbourhoods.  I feel really aware of everything around me right now.  Like I've been able to slow down enough over the last few days to see what life actually looks like here and how normal iit is, as opposed to all the differences that I've been clinging to all this year.  I would stay if I had a reason.

I've eaten something bad.  I can't think of what it would be.  I don't feel horrible but my colon evidently hates me right now.  I know I'm not eating well.  My stomach is just too wound up and I don't feel like eating.

March 15, 2006

I'm sorry!!!!  I know I totally suck.  I haven't written for so long.  Life has just been continuing.  I go through good days and bad days.  One day I'm stoked to get home, the next day I'm battling anxiety attacks.  One day I can't wait to see some of my kids and can't imagine life without them, the next I'm praising God that I don't have any of my own.

I'm feeling as under control as possible.  I feel like the things that I can control (like the pacing of cleaning, packing and finishing up the loose ends at work) are coming along nicely according to my plan.  The things I can't control (the continuing progress of existence, for example) don't seem completely overwhelming, just occasionally minorly whelming.

Packing continues.  Cleaning continues.  Hanging with friends and loved ones continues.  It's all fine.  It'll all be good.  I can't wait to eat some mango tofu-lati as I listen to the rain on the lake with my Mum's fat cat on my stomach.  That's all for now until I get back to the East side of the Pacific.  I'll update this site then with all my adventures and thoughts of this past month then.  Check back later.

March 11, 2006

Quick classes today.  Just two hours and forty minutes of teaching time today.  FABULOUS!!!  And all kids.  What a difference my day is when it's just kids.  I had only Yui in the first class and it was fun to have him all to myself and to be able to really interact with him.  I had to tell his dad that next week would be my last week.

Straight from work I met Yoko at Nishi-Funabashi.  She looked stunning.  We headed in and finally, after some difficulty, found the restaurant for Chris and Yasuko's final wedding party.  We were at the disruptive table.  Yoko was pretty quiet.  We were with Cleitus and Sami, friends of Yasuko who are originally from India, the two folks we went to the fireworks with and another Japanese chick who Chris knows who went to U of A.  Everyone at the table spoke English so it was nice for the guys and me.  It was a beautiful restaurant and the two of them came out looking so incredibly fabulous together.  She had this long white lacy dress with a fab slender column silhouette.  It fit her perfectly.  There were speeches and lots of delicious food and convo.  Afterward, we had such a great time that our table went out for "drinks" together.  We couldn't find anything open so we ended up at, of all things, an Indian restaurant.  It was a great time.

March 10, 2006

Today at school I started thinking about not being around my students.  The Kindies have been so precious to my heart.  Rui can go away, but the rest of them have been so sweet.  I found myself today looking into the girls eyes and just sitting with all of them and listening to them interact with each other.  It was like the sweet moments with my baby boys, Matt and Tay years ago.  Just enjoying them being the little people that they are.  I was on the floor with them and I looked at Kana and said "I like you.  I like you guys."  Unfortunately, she can't understand me.  I so want to be able to understand what they say because they often talk away to me and they do so, so enthusiastically like they really want to share something with me.  I just don't know what they are saying.  I'm going to miss them.

March 8, 2006

My first set of my last classes.  It was cool thinking that I'll never go back to that school again.  It hasn't hit me as a reality though.

March 7, 2006

Man, my back hurts.  Today was long.  But for the third week in a row, I had no students for my last class.  It kinda pissed me off cause it meant that I was done teaching at 5:20 but then I, yet again, couldn't leave until 8.  I don't think that the students realize what they do to the teachers when that happens.  I hope to always be aware of how the system works anytime I take any classes from now on.  And I'll always call in absent.  I did manage to lay down and also to get some work done.  I finished planning for my new Playgroup class for this week and finished my CPR's that are due on the 17th.  Yeah, that's 10 days early.  I don't think I have ever turned in anything early in my life.  I was always the one in the class who stayed up all night the day before something was due to get it done.  I remember some papers in University that I had like 3 months to work on them and I seriously took that last three days and did nothing but the paper for those three days before the due date.  I made it home, although I thought I was going to die on the way to the school from the train.  I dropped off some stuff out of my bag and that helped but I seriously had issues walking from the station.  My bike is a bit better on my back, curiously enough(!), but the bumps and curves are bru-tal.  I had some tofu and old rice for dinner, watched some Project Runway, my new obsession, and I called mum for her birthday.  That's it.

March 5, 2006

Last night I went right into Tokyo from work.  I had carried my stuff all the way to school and then to Chris and Yasuko's.  At school I picked up Kenshin right at the beginning of class.  Immediately I felt my back go.  I knew I was done for.  Having to stand on the train for another hour and a half didn't help.  I got to Chris and Yasuko's and we met up with Toshi.  We all headed out for sushi.  It was a beautiful west coast type looking building with cedar siding.  Inside was a small sushi bar that got really, really quiet the moment that we walked in the door.  'Oo, look at the funny looking people.'  Everyone turned and just watched us get settled in.  It was the best sushi I have had in my life.  It was amazing.  I had the most phenomenal maguro (tuna) that just melted in my mouth.  I had some kind of eel (not unagi) that was alsoso soft and amazing that it just sat in my mouth and disappeared.  It was a really nice time of eating and talking.

We went back to Chris and Yasuko's and I crashed on the floor in pain.  So we sat around and I worked on Chris' comp for a bit after they went to bed and then slept.

This morning we got up and had some late breakfast which was really more like lunch time.  Yasuko wasn't feeling well so just Chris and I went in to Shibuya to the Apple store.  We had a nice time and after went out for some Tex-Mex food.  So then I finally got home and crashed and didn’t move.

March 3, 2006

Today it hailed, then snowed, then rained.  I found out that Yuichi is leaving the school at the end of the semester.  He needs to go to juku.  Makes me question whether my schedule on Fridays will exist after I go.  Probably not.  Shunsuke will probably drop.  He has been once in like 2 months.  That will just leave Takuya.  Kinda sad to think about cause as I've been thinking about leaving, in my mind everything continues on as it has been, without me.  But then when I see changes like that coming up with classes and people that I have loved so much, it makes me sad.  Kana today was really bummed out when she came into class and it took her a while to get into the class, but she left bouncing around and smiling and giving me big hugs, so that was really nice to see and yet it kinda broke my heart that I have to leave this sweet girl who has really bonded to me.

I haven't really been thinking much of leaving.  It really hasn't hit me that I leave in two and a half weeks.  It's like I was more aware of leaving like a month ago than I am now.  Now I'm just coasting along, doing my thing, paying attention to my teaching more than anything else and that means that I'm really not noticing that time is escaping from me very quickly.

I'm getting sick.  Big weekend ahead of me and then straight into the next full week of teaching so I must sleep.

March 1, 2006

I'm feeling better this week than I have in a long, long, long time.  I called a friend to invite her to Yakiniku tomorrow for "lunch" and her husband answered.  We chatted quickly and he was like "So how are you doing?" and I told him I was good, and I stopped and was like "Yeah, I'm good, I can say that I'm good"  he said that I sounded good and that there was something in my voice.  It's true.  I have been feeling like myself again.  It only took like a year!  I don't know if it's just feeling the release of tension from work, that it will be ending soon so it takes the pressure off and then I do better than I was before.  I don't know.  Maybe it's just a whole tonne of people all praying for me at the same time for the same thing.  Maybe it's getting rid of furniture in my place here.  Maybe it's feeling a release from other things that I have no control over.  Maybe it's having a lot to look forward to in Victoria and Seattle and Malibu over the next 3 months.  I don't know, but it feels good.  Hallelujah.