I had a great Japanese lesson with Nomura-san (my cute little Japanese instructor, he's in his late 70's) and then they announced that there was some sort of musical sharing thing afterwards with the International Association. I thought I would just go back to the classroom and sleep or plan, but then I thought 'No, I work enough, I'm going to do something fun'. I'm so glad I went in. It's a big open tatami room and there were these long flat stringed instruments called Koto on the floor. We all gathered in the room (taking off our shoes first and put them in rows facing the door, of course) and then were seated all around the outside of the room on these flat square cushions. They invited 3 people to come and try playing along with the ladies while they played a couple of songs, the new people just sat there looking perplexed, I was dying to get on one. For ne of the songs an old guy sang along to, the song is called "Sakura" which means 'cherry blossoms', it's very well known. Then they played a couple more songs and then my wish came true, they invited everyone to come and try the instruments out and gave a little lesson on how to use them. Seeing that it is an International Association they wanted all the foreigners in the room to try them out, so I got to play quite a bit. I was pretty good if I do say so myself! So cool. I felt all Japanese like and now I want to find a way to play more. It's sort of like playing the strings of a piano so I liked it, unlike playing guitar which I am now completely convinced I will never be successful at.
A Koto is a traditional Japanese instrument that was brought to Japan from China around 800 AD. It is just under 200 centimeters long and made of paulownia wood which is an Asian flowering tree. There's 13 (or 17, 20, 25 or 30) strings that sit on these little bridges along the deck. The strings are plucked by picks that fit over the thumb, second finger and third finger. I felt like the bad guy in "Big Trouble, Little China". The pitch can be changed by moving the bridges so tuning is a big deal. Koto music, as it's known now, was established sometime (around 1614 and 1685) in the Edo period.
Monday, June 27, 2005
Sunday, June 26, 2005
June 26, 2005
I went into Kamakura with Chris, Yasuko and Yoko. Yoko and I met on the train and then we met up with the future Brackens on the platform in Yokohama.
We started at Kita-Kamakura which is the north side of the town. Engaku-ji was the first temple we went to. So here's the story of this one... About 700 years ago the Mongolians tried to take Japan. This guy (Toimune Hojo, governor of the Shogun) continued studying Zen all throughout the time the Mongolians were trying to take over. After they were pushed back he wanted to spread the way of Zen that had been his mental focal point throughout the conflict and to honour the souls of those who were lost in the war from both sides. He built the temple and named it Engaku after the Sutra ('a teaching') on Perfect Enlightenment. It eventually became the main centre of Zen in the Kanto Area and still continues to provide training in the way of Zen. That's essentially what it's about. It has a bunch of buildings and is quite an extensive property. There are little teahouses and small shrines and temples all on the same site. There's even the Shari-den with is the Shrine of the Sacred Tooth of Buddha. It's supposed to be a National Treasure and very important so we could only get within about a hundred feet of it, but I couldn't figure out from the information if it's the tooth that's the national treasure or if it's the building that was made to hold the tooth that's the national treasure. I think it may be the building. Or maybe it's both. The whole area was constructed to create an atmosphere conducive to meditative thought. It was put in this valley that is carved right into the rocks so it feels like the rocks are a hedge of protection from the world around, and at this time of year they are lush with greenery and trees and flowers.
Next, we walked along to another temple, Meigetsu-in. The story on this one... it was founded in 1160 as a place of rest for the soul of this guy's dad. Then this other guy in like 1256 decided that this would be the site of a Buddhist temple. Then some other guys after him kept adding on and building more. It's centered around the deity of compassion. The gardens on the site are amazing. They are green and lush and the hydrangea (which are in full extravagant bloom right now with the rains and the heat) are like wild bushes and grow into these mass bushes that line the walks and the riverbed. We walked around for quite some time and headed up the hill (up many, many stairs) to a shrine and a giant bell. And there was a place for lunch up there too. Kinda cool with the low benches with red felt on them, hidden in the trees overlooking the site. But we didn't have lunch there.
We headed back to a main road and found a fabulous old farm house that had been moved to the town and is now a restaurant. It was cool sitting up in the second story thinking this was once someone's living space. The beams were HUGE and dark and lovely. We had a lunch of "Vegetables from the Mountains" and soup and rice. We were quite refreshed and headed back out.
Walked along the street, found some rice cracker snacks that Chris loves so much, I like to call them Scooby Snacks, and we ended up at the shrine where I had been before. It's waaay up on the hill overlooking "downtown" Kamakura. I was standing apart from the others when I was approached by a man, probably in his thirties, who asked me in English where the bus was. I said I didn't know. I thought it was odd that he would ask me, of all people, who obviously isn't from around the area. But then upon leaving he looked at my chest, oh, that's why he asked me, either that or he figured me for a tourist and so would know where the bus stop is and then was legitimately distracted by the boobs. Hard to say which one it is. At the bottom of all the stairs are these giant barrels of Sake that are an offering. Serious, they're giant. They're massive. I've been there twice and have been taken with the giant barrels, and yet, I'm still to take a picture of them. Yasuko evidently knows all about Sake and the different kinds. We discussed having a Sake party, sort of like Riley's Scotch party where everyone brings a bottle and then everyone gets to taste a bit of everyone else's so that we all get a little taste of a tonne of different kinds. I guess it would have been easier to explain that by simply saying it's like a wine party, but quite frankly, that would be too simple and I'll take any opportunity I can get to talk about Scotch.
We left that shrine area and walked around the streets of the town in the shopping area. Oh, but not before seeing the biggest turtle in a pond full of the biggest water lilies I have ever seen in my life. We were standing on the bridge watching these two chicks feed the koi and some usual pond sized turtles...aw, aren't they cute... when all of a sudden, whoa, look at that face, what the heck is that, holea, look at the size of that turtle. It was giannormous. We were quite taken with it. Or at least Chris, Yasuko and I were. Yoko thought we were a little nuts. Anyway, back to the shopping area, it's full of all these fabulous little shops. Some are traditional clothing, some are traditional snacky foods, like we hit this bean shop that has all these flavoured beans. Quite tasty. Some shops are more hippy like clothing ones with organic cotton skirts and shirts in African styling. Then! Oh my, so there are these guys who give rick-shaw rides (sort of like kabuki cabs in Victoria, only minus the bike!) and they often stand on the corner and talk to passers-by. So this one guy was sort of talking to Yoko who was in front of me, then he turned away but then came back to me and kind of came up behind me and said in my ear in English, "Trust me Princess", as I give my oh so well known scandalized face and shocked vocalization. "Ah! What?" "I'll take you on a magic carpet ride." "Oh, no no no no no. You did not just say that to me! You did not. Do not even. Are you joking me? No no no no no no no. No!" Disney be damned! We saw him again as we were leaving and I just started saying, "Do not talk to me, do not even attempt to talk to me if you value your arms" as he was saying "Bye bye" in this dirty little sing song voice.
We caught the train back and parted the same way we came. I ended up bootin around Tsudanuma on the way back home. Found some peanut butter (I love oil separation) and was going to leave, but then I got distracted by the Tower Records again and ended up spending over an hour in there listening to music.
We started at Kita-Kamakura which is the north side of the town. Engaku-ji was the first temple we went to. So here's the story of this one... About 700 years ago the Mongolians tried to take Japan. This guy (Toimune Hojo, governor of the Shogun) continued studying Zen all throughout the time the Mongolians were trying to take over. After they were pushed back he wanted to spread the way of Zen that had been his mental focal point throughout the conflict and to honour the souls of those who were lost in the war from both sides. He built the temple and named it Engaku after the Sutra ('a teaching') on Perfect Enlightenment. It eventually became the main centre of Zen in the Kanto Area and still continues to provide training in the way of Zen. That's essentially what it's about. It has a bunch of buildings and is quite an extensive property. There are little teahouses and small shrines and temples all on the same site. There's even the Shari-den with is the Shrine of the Sacred Tooth of Buddha. It's supposed to be a National Treasure and very important so we could only get within about a hundred feet of it, but I couldn't figure out from the information if it's the tooth that's the national treasure or if it's the building that was made to hold the tooth that's the national treasure. I think it may be the building. Or maybe it's both. The whole area was constructed to create an atmosphere conducive to meditative thought. It was put in this valley that is carved right into the rocks so it feels like the rocks are a hedge of protection from the world around, and at this time of year they are lush with greenery and trees and flowers.
Next, we walked along to another temple, Meigetsu-in. The story on this one... it was founded in 1160 as a place of rest for the soul of this guy's dad. Then this other guy in like 1256 decided that this would be the site of a Buddhist temple. Then some other guys after him kept adding on and building more. It's centered around the deity of compassion. The gardens on the site are amazing. They are green and lush and the hydrangea (which are in full extravagant bloom right now with the rains and the heat) are like wild bushes and grow into these mass bushes that line the walks and the riverbed. We walked around for quite some time and headed up the hill (up many, many stairs) to a shrine and a giant bell. And there was a place for lunch up there too. Kinda cool with the low benches with red felt on them, hidden in the trees overlooking the site. But we didn't have lunch there.
We headed back to a main road and found a fabulous old farm house that had been moved to the town and is now a restaurant. It was cool sitting up in the second story thinking this was once someone's living space. The beams were HUGE and dark and lovely. We had a lunch of "Vegetables from the Mountains" and soup and rice. We were quite refreshed and headed back out.
Walked along the street, found some rice cracker snacks that Chris loves so much, I like to call them Scooby Snacks, and we ended up at the shrine where I had been before. It's waaay up on the hill overlooking "downtown" Kamakura. I was standing apart from the others when I was approached by a man, probably in his thirties, who asked me in English where the bus was. I said I didn't know. I thought it was odd that he would ask me, of all people, who obviously isn't from around the area. But then upon leaving he looked at my chest, oh, that's why he asked me, either that or he figured me for a tourist and so would know where the bus stop is and then was legitimately distracted by the boobs. Hard to say which one it is. At the bottom of all the stairs are these giant barrels of Sake that are an offering. Serious, they're giant. They're massive. I've been there twice and have been taken with the giant barrels, and yet, I'm still to take a picture of them. Yasuko evidently knows all about Sake and the different kinds. We discussed having a Sake party, sort of like Riley's Scotch party where everyone brings a bottle and then everyone gets to taste a bit of everyone else's so that we all get a little taste of a tonne of different kinds. I guess it would have been easier to explain that by simply saying it's like a wine party, but quite frankly, that would be too simple and I'll take any opportunity I can get to talk about Scotch.
We left that shrine area and walked around the streets of the town in the shopping area. Oh, but not before seeing the biggest turtle in a pond full of the biggest water lilies I have ever seen in my life. We were standing on the bridge watching these two chicks feed the koi and some usual pond sized turtles...aw, aren't they cute... when all of a sudden, whoa, look at that face, what the heck is that, holea, look at the size of that turtle. It was giannormous. We were quite taken with it. Or at least Chris, Yasuko and I were. Yoko thought we were a little nuts. Anyway, back to the shopping area, it's full of all these fabulous little shops. Some are traditional clothing, some are traditional snacky foods, like we hit this bean shop that has all these flavoured beans. Quite tasty. Some shops are more hippy like clothing ones with organic cotton skirts and shirts in African styling. Then! Oh my, so there are these guys who give rick-shaw rides (sort of like kabuki cabs in Victoria, only minus the bike!) and they often stand on the corner and talk to passers-by. So this one guy was sort of talking to Yoko who was in front of me, then he turned away but then came back to me and kind of came up behind me and said in my ear in English, "Trust me Princess", as I give my oh so well known scandalized face and shocked vocalization. "Ah! What?" "I'll take you on a magic carpet ride." "Oh, no no no no no. You did not just say that to me! You did not. Do not even. Are you joking me? No no no no no no no. No!" Disney be damned! We saw him again as we were leaving and I just started saying, "Do not talk to me, do not even attempt to talk to me if you value your arms" as he was saying "Bye bye" in this dirty little sing song voice.
We caught the train back and parted the same way we came. I ended up bootin around Tsudanuma on the way back home. Found some peanut butter (I love oil separation) and was going to leave, but then I got distracted by the Tower Records again and ended up spending over an hour in there listening to music.
Friday, June 24, 2005
June 24, 2005
Seen as the mast-head quote on a blog I like to lurk on...
"Insipid people rarely create questions. So don't giggle -- laugh with the freedom of the redeemed. Do something inappropriate! Offend someone! Bless someone! Go to Jesus and let his broken heart for the poor and the lost break your heart! Quit trying to be so good! If you were that good, he wouldn't have sent his Son, he would have sent a book. God is quite fond of you! He is creating the image of his Son in you. You are holy because he made you holy by setting you apart for himself. Shout! Dance! Cuss and spit, if you must. Well, uh maybe not that...I got a little carried away there, but don't just stand there looking afraid, guilty, proper and bland. Create some questions in the minds of pagans and -- you can hang your hat on this -- the questions will come because, if you stay close to him, he will make you different and alive, free and faithful and joyous and improper, and he, himself, will be the answer to their questions."
-Steve Brown
I'm not back, I just felt like sharing for a moment.
I haven't been posting much for the last two weeks. I have been working and living and "being" here.
Some things that have made me happy lately: singing kareoke with good people, bowling with a whole tonne of people, reading 2 Corinthians 4:10-20 (thanks Heids), dancing till dawn...or well past dawn, having two of my teenage students become fans of Brandon Heath's music, riding Drlfan home slowly on very warm summer evenings, hearing of several good friends who are all in deep smitteness being all together like and happy, sitting in a park, finding a clothing store close to my house that has some "normal" sizes, being told by an adult student that my model sentence "it sounds like poem"...the sentence..."I am sitting in a pool of my own sweat".
Things that have made me sad lately: being away from Ryan & Mum & Dad & Nenny, not being able to find a new supplier of peanut butter, hearing several news stories in the last few days of teenagers and young 20 somethings murdering parents and complete strangers for no apparently valid reason, finding out that some of my favourite students have had to drop my classes due to conflicts in schedules, watching 2 fabulous high school boys be over-run with responsibilities and not be able to be kids one last time before hitting "adult-hood".
"Insipid people rarely create questions. So don't giggle -- laugh with the freedom of the redeemed. Do something inappropriate! Offend someone! Bless someone! Go to Jesus and let his broken heart for the poor and the lost break your heart! Quit trying to be so good! If you were that good, he wouldn't have sent his Son, he would have sent a book. God is quite fond of you! He is creating the image of his Son in you. You are holy because he made you holy by setting you apart for himself. Shout! Dance! Cuss and spit, if you must. Well, uh maybe not that...I got a little carried away there, but don't just stand there looking afraid, guilty, proper and bland. Create some questions in the minds of pagans and -- you can hang your hat on this -- the questions will come because, if you stay close to him, he will make you different and alive, free and faithful and joyous and improper, and he, himself, will be the answer to their questions."
-Steve Brown
I'm not back, I just felt like sharing for a moment.
I haven't been posting much for the last two weeks. I have been working and living and "being" here.
Some things that have made me happy lately: singing kareoke with good people, bowling with a whole tonne of people, reading 2 Corinthians 4:10-20 (thanks Heids), dancing till dawn...or well past dawn, having two of my teenage students become fans of Brandon Heath's music, riding Drlfan home slowly on very warm summer evenings, hearing of several good friends who are all in deep smitteness being all together like and happy, sitting in a park, finding a clothing store close to my house that has some "normal" sizes, being told by an adult student that my model sentence "it sounds like poem"...the sentence..."I am sitting in a pool of my own sweat".
Things that have made me sad lately: being away from Ryan & Mum & Dad & Nenny, not being able to find a new supplier of peanut butter, hearing several news stories in the last few days of teenagers and young 20 somethings murdering parents and complete strangers for no apparently valid reason, finding out that some of my favourite students have had to drop my classes due to conflicts in schedules, watching 2 fabulous high school boys be over-run with responsibilities and not be able to be kids one last time before hitting "adult-hood".
Sunday, June 19, 2005
June 19, 2005
Happy Father's Day!!!
I realize you all think that your dad is the greatest, but quite frankly you are all mistaken...except Ryan, he's quite correct in his thinking.
Thanks Santa!
I am going to take a break from writing for a bit. As you can tell from the postings of this last week, I'm not in the most talkative of moods, so I'm going to acknowledge that and not pressure myself. I will continue to put things up, but I'm not going to stick to any kind of consistency until I feel like it.
I will be back.
I realize you all think that your dad is the greatest, but quite frankly you are all mistaken...except Ryan, he's quite correct in his thinking.
Thanks Santa!
I am going to take a break from writing for a bit. As you can tell from the postings of this last week, I'm not in the most talkative of moods, so I'm going to acknowledge that and not pressure myself. I will continue to put things up, but I'm not going to stick to any kind of consistency until I feel like it.
I will be back.
Saturday, June 18, 2005
Friday, June 17, 2005
June 17, 2005
Feeling better. I went out after work for a bite to eat with a friend. She was having a very bad day. It was good to be out and to talk. We had some fun ordering food with the language barrier, but we did just fine, or at least relatively fine. It was good to talk about life and travel and love and the process that brought us to this point, and about being on the Truman Show. She's often convinced that her life is really just contrived for a tv show.
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
June 14, 2005
Grandad passed away today some time between 2:30 and 3:00 PST Monday afternoon, June 13th.
Monday, June 13, 2005
June 13, 2005
I can't believe that it's only 28 degrees and like 75% humidity. This scares me. Already I'm unable to wear a shirt more than one day in a row (some people may find this gross that I would try, I find their waste of water gross, you cannot possibly get a shirt THAT dirty in the course of a day by just going shopping or whatever that you have to wear it once and wash it, unless you're doing construction or farm work or something, and even then, I still would wear my clothes a few days in a row when I was working in the green houses). Last night I had to get up in the middle of the night and change my shirt. And they're both now going in the wash for tomorrow's laundry time. This scares me because it's still relatively cool compared to the temperatures it's supposed to hit. Think another ten degrees and another 15% humidity still to go. I don't think I'm going to be a happy camper.
Today we wore party hats. My first class of all girls, 7 and 8 years old, was quite silly. The unit is at a birthday party. "This is for you, Happy Birthday" "Thanks" "You're welcome. Open it." I first walked in and told them that I decided that I wasn't the teacher anymore. I don't want to be the teacher. Who's the teacher? I'm not the teacher. Are you the teacher? They thought this was funny. Mana (the quiet dumb one of the class, sounds aweful but there's usually one in every class, no judgment, just a fact) finally took my seat, I took her back pack and put it on. We went over the dialogue a bunch of times in all sorts of random ways, sometimes repeating after me, sometimes repeating after the CD. Then came reading it from the board while acting it out using a Kleenex box and some crayon boxes as the presents, of course you can't give or receive birthday presents without wearing party hats. I'm sure I looked quite ridiculous with a party hat and a backpack made for a seven year old. I never did return to the "teacher" seat and just did the whole class in Mana's seat with her bag on. Every time she needed something from her bag I knelt down in front of her and she unzipped her bag, removed her book or pencil case or whatever she needed, then zipped it back up and sent me on my way. It was a good class. I was particularly encouraged by the fact that they actually remembered the little introduction skit that we've been working on for a few weeks. Mana even got it down, which is no minor miracle as every other week she just stares at me the whole time waiting for me to feed her the line. But this week she remembered it and even went around the class as "Teacher" and went over it with the other three girls in turn just as I had. It was particularly funny when she got to me and promptly forgot what she was doing and went straight to asking "How old are you?". Evidently my age has made an impression. I guess that I would rather my age make an impression that other things about me that seem to constantly distract the teenagers from hell class. Let's go with age, age is much better...and smaller.
I still hate Mondays, it just wasn't as unspeakable as usual.
Today we wore party hats. My first class of all girls, 7 and 8 years old, was quite silly. The unit is at a birthday party. "This is for you, Happy Birthday" "Thanks" "You're welcome. Open it." I first walked in and told them that I decided that I wasn't the teacher anymore. I don't want to be the teacher. Who's the teacher? I'm not the teacher. Are you the teacher? They thought this was funny. Mana (the quiet dumb one of the class, sounds aweful but there's usually one in every class, no judgment, just a fact) finally took my seat, I took her back pack and put it on. We went over the dialogue a bunch of times in all sorts of random ways, sometimes repeating after me, sometimes repeating after the CD. Then came reading it from the board while acting it out using a Kleenex box and some crayon boxes as the presents, of course you can't give or receive birthday presents without wearing party hats. I'm sure I looked quite ridiculous with a party hat and a backpack made for a seven year old. I never did return to the "teacher" seat and just did the whole class in Mana's seat with her bag on. Every time she needed something from her bag I knelt down in front of her and she unzipped her bag, removed her book or pencil case or whatever she needed, then zipped it back up and sent me on my way. It was a good class. I was particularly encouraged by the fact that they actually remembered the little introduction skit that we've been working on for a few weeks. Mana even got it down, which is no minor miracle as every other week she just stares at me the whole time waiting for me to feed her the line. But this week she remembered it and even went around the class as "Teacher" and went over it with the other three girls in turn just as I had. It was particularly funny when she got to me and promptly forgot what she was doing and went straight to asking "How old are you?". Evidently my age has made an impression. I guess that I would rather my age make an impression that other things about me that seem to constantly distract the teenagers from hell class. Let's go with age, age is much better...and smaller.
I still hate Mondays, it just wasn't as unspeakable as usual.
Sunday, June 12, 2005
June 12, 2005
I slept till about 12:30 when Youko, Chrisser's friend from Victoria, gave me a call. We arranged to meet at 4:00 on the platform at Kita to go in search of Thai food. I did some laundry and tidied a little bit. I read for a bit and then fell asleep for about another hour. I met Youko at the station and we decided to go and try and find the Thai place that is supposed to be one stop up and has a Sunday buffet dinner. We actually found it pretty easily and enjoyed a really great dinner. I've decided she's my new friend.
After dinner we walked around a bit and found a second-hand store. All sorts of randomness in there. I bought an electric fan. Then we went to the grocery store to find bleach or something to kill mildew, and some water cause we were thirsty. I love that she can read things. I hate being illiterate. We found some fabulous killing spray. She laughed when she read the label. It's says to wash your hands and your face and your eyes after touch the bottle and to keep a door open. She read it and looked at me and said "Maybe you will die. I don't know." We laughed. We walked some more. Found a Uni-Qlo (!!!! a fabulous clothing store that carries sizes for beings who were created to be larger than a tent pole) just down the street from the station. Like a 20-25 minute bike ride from my house. How exciting. I'm going back, maybe on Tuesday to spend some time trying to find more shirts and jeans and pants. We thought we could head back to Kita via one road. We got turned around in a neighbourhood and so ended up, eventually, back on the same road we were on. We decided to just go back the way we came and then follow the tracks back to the Kita station. I said good bye to her there and promised to call again soon. We were talking about going to Kamakura sometimes soon.
Emboldened by our success at finding mildew cleaner I decided to hit the drug store by my house to see what else I could figure out. I managed to get a dust broom thing, those new ones with the disposable cloths. I used to be unilaterally opposed to them. But since Stephanie left some of the cloths and I can't find a regular broom anywhere, I decided that they aren't so awful in this place and are actually quite handy. I've decided that I've been trying to hard to battle living here, "No I'm not going to buy this or that because I can clean different ways", but really it's not working and they have some wonderful cleaning products that I just need to spend the money on and be clean and happy. I also got some drain bags for the kitchen sink so I'll be able to clean it out easier each week, and then the roaches won't want to come in here. Yeah! No roaches. I'm fearing the day.
It has gotten hot here. Today was the first day that I was just at home since the humidity has soared. Everything is sticky. I don't like that I can get a shirt from my closet and put it on and it feels like it needs another 15 minutes in the dryer. It was dry at one point. Now it's not. It's only going to get worse.
After dinner we walked around a bit and found a second-hand store. All sorts of randomness in there. I bought an electric fan. Then we went to the grocery store to find bleach or something to kill mildew, and some water cause we were thirsty. I love that she can read things. I hate being illiterate. We found some fabulous killing spray. She laughed when she read the label. It's says to wash your hands and your face and your eyes after touch the bottle and to keep a door open. She read it and looked at me and said "Maybe you will die. I don't know." We laughed. We walked some more. Found a Uni-Qlo (!!!! a fabulous clothing store that carries sizes for beings who were created to be larger than a tent pole) just down the street from the station. Like a 20-25 minute bike ride from my house. How exciting. I'm going back, maybe on Tuesday to spend some time trying to find more shirts and jeans and pants. We thought we could head back to Kita via one road. We got turned around in a neighbourhood and so ended up, eventually, back on the same road we were on. We decided to just go back the way we came and then follow the tracks back to the Kita station. I said good bye to her there and promised to call again soon. We were talking about going to Kamakura sometimes soon.
Emboldened by our success at finding mildew cleaner I decided to hit the drug store by my house to see what else I could figure out. I managed to get a dust broom thing, those new ones with the disposable cloths. I used to be unilaterally opposed to them. But since Stephanie left some of the cloths and I can't find a regular broom anywhere, I decided that they aren't so awful in this place and are actually quite handy. I've decided that I've been trying to hard to battle living here, "No I'm not going to buy this or that because I can clean different ways", but really it's not working and they have some wonderful cleaning products that I just need to spend the money on and be clean and happy. I also got some drain bags for the kitchen sink so I'll be able to clean it out easier each week, and then the roaches won't want to come in here. Yeah! No roaches. I'm fearing the day.
It has gotten hot here. Today was the first day that I was just at home since the humidity has soared. Everything is sticky. I don't like that I can get a shirt from my closet and put it on and it feels like it needs another 15 minutes in the dryer. It was dry at one point. Now it's not. It's only going to get worse.
Saturday, June 11, 2005
June 11, 2005
Usual Saturday at school today. Then I nipped home really quick. Rinsed off my very sticky, fat body and got ready to head back out. I met some teachers on the train. On my way down the stairs I saw The Other One (a good friend, that's her nickname). One teacher had mentioned that he was hoping that she would come with us. She seemed really hesitant. She didn't want to spend money and be out all night. She kept saying that she would come. But then when the train came and she saw the others, she just couldn’t say no. So within 5 seconds of saying, "No, I'm not getting on, I'm going home" she had walked on the train and the doors shut behind her. One teacher was setting up a little traveling bar. Someone had given her some home-made wine and she was fixing us drinks with it in Amino Suppli (a sports drink) bottles. We arrived at Shibuya and decided that we needed some food. We found a random place (unfortunately with a table charge that we found out about afterward, otherwise we may not have chosen it) then after some sustenance We decided to hit a club we'd been to before. We headed up to the Hip Hop floor where there was just a few people sitting around. We danced a few songs (with oh, so much space around us) but the dj was a little lame so we headed down a floor. There was this cute older woman there, looked like, with her daughter. Props to her for coming out. Others aren't really into Techno so we headed back up to get the party started up on the Hip Hop floor. We danced pretty much all night from like 11:30 until 4:00 on the one floor, stopping only ever so briefly. We headed out in search of the Matsuri (the McD's of the Don Buri - that's beef bowl) for some breakfast and then out to the station for the first train home. I took a bill out of my pocket for a new train pass and it was soaked all the way through. Totally gross. I rested for a bit. Pictures were taken. I will try and get them so I can poste them.
I got home around 6:30, had a shower and then laid down to read and then finally slept around 8 am.
I got home around 6:30, had a shower and then laid down to read and then finally slept around 8 am.
Friday, June 10, 2005
June 10, 2005
Someone has been praying for me. Today was the class with "The Child". I gained two more students in that class at the last minute so I then had 6 of them. That's quite a few to manage when your whole class is nothing but class management. I had planned enough for about 2 classes worth of time so that if they got out of hand I would just keep changing the activity on them. Not really much language input, but I was going for management more than anything. We sat up at the big desk quite a bit today so that helped a whole lot. I had Taeko talk to Rui and his mother before class about his behaviour. It seems to have worked. The other terror was having a bad day and had a total melt down in the middle of class. She was positively sobbing. I tried to comfort her. Her best friend was sitting beside her and just put her hands over her own ears. It was very cute. I couldn't calm her down and she was working herself positively into a tisey (how on earth do you spell that?) so I carried her out and pawned her off onto Taeko and Reiko. That was really the only event in my day. Based on today, I would like to retract my previous statement, but I do not want to be too rash. I gave Rui two months before I came to the conclusion that I hate him, I will give him at least one more week before retracting my statement and reissuing a new one. It sounds harsh. I know. I don't expect anyone to understand. I just hope no one judges me for it.
Note: I'm covered in bug bites. Yesterday I ate Nan. I'm itchy all over.
Note: I'm covered in bug bites. Yesterday I ate Nan. I'm itchy all over.
Thursday, June 9, 2005
June 9, 2005
Michelle and I went into Tokyo today. I really wasn't in the mood to go anywhere and even considered calling it off last minute and head back to bed. I am so glad that I didn't call it off.
We met up in Ueno where we really only stayed long enough to find some quick sushi and take a look at a guide book. We found a picture of a pretty bridge in a park so we decided to go and try and find it. It took some doing, and some wrong turns, and some random directions in Japanese, and a very long walk around a very tall wall within which we were positive the park was but we couldn't find an opening in the wall to save our lives. We did finally find and opening after practically circumventing the entire park. As soon as we walked in the gate we both breathed a little sigh and relaxed our shoulders a little bit. It was so green and delightful and so much quieter right away. We had decided that if it were any more than 500 yen entrance that we would jam. It was only 300 and so on we went. It is the oldest promenade park in Tokyo. Construction on it started back in like 1620 something and was completed like 23 years later. It used to be 4 times the current size, unbelievable. We spent like 3 and a half hours or so in there. We'd walk a bit and then sit on a bench and talk, or not. I took a few pictures. We met a cute old lady who came up to us with a bright smile and said 'Good Afternoon' and then continued walking past us saying 'Have a nice day'. We saw her moments later setting down to do some watercolours of the iris fields that we were walking around. She showed us a few pictures and then said 'Have a nice day' and we continued on. She was so sweet. We talked a lot. While sitting on top of the red bridge (the picture of which had originally drew us to find the park) I ventured to ask Michelle (the other one) about her dealings with culture shock because I've been thinking that I'm dealing with it but I wasn't sure. We talked for like the next forty minutes or so about shock and life here and it was so good to hear another person's struggles that so closely resembled mine. We talked about wanting to be independent from the "School Yard" mentality of so many of the other teachers, about being okay with not being friends with everyone, about being labeled by others because we aren't consumed by the school community, about being okay with where we are. I felt utterly refreshed after that talk. We had many good talks throughout the day. We talked about marriage and singleness, traveling, family, work, ideas and our takes on life and friendship. By the time we left the park I realized that I had actually not thought of the next day's classes for the first time in a very long time. I realized that when we were in the station I heard myself laugh, and it had been a long time since I had heard my own real laugh, I don't mean the laugh we give students when they're telling a story and we can't actually figure out what they're saying and so we just go along with the physical cues of when to laugh during the story. We decided that our new motto is, "I just needed to be here", when people ask us why we're in Japan.
We then decided that it was time to start scouting our dinner options. Michelle (the other one) was in the mood for a trendy little area, so we made our way towards Oomatosando, which is just north of Shibuya. At first the main roads just looked like any major street in a large city, but then we found these little side streets that were kind of kitchy and very European in flavour. I found an Aveda! I felt instantly relaxed when I walked in the door and smelled the oh so familiar small of all Aveda shops. We found a cute little upstairs Indian restaurant that we decided to have dinner at. We made complete pigs of ourselves. We had Nan AND Rice with our curry dishes. Soooo much food. We set out to walk off our dinner and find adventure. We found a University campus that we walked around, and got lost on. Then walking down a cute little street we were stopped by these Turkish guys to talk. We ended up going in to his kilm shop and talking with the one guy for at least an hour, if not more. He was pretty cool, and surprisingly enough, younger than us. He looked much older. He went into an expository about flowers and fruit. He was very funny. He had been in a court battle with Ted Turner over CNNasia.com. I guess he was a squatter on the address and Ted wanted it and claimed ownership of it. It was interesting. He was in the Turkish Time magazine because of it. Doesn't Ted own Time? I dunno. Interesting. His friends decided they wanted to some dinner, so the Michelles decided that it was time to start figuring out how to get home. We managed to walk to Shibuya fairly easily and caught the train from there.
I actually feel refreshed after today. The first time I've felt like that after a day off in a very long time. I usually just try to distract myself from the sense of impending doom that wells up within me on my day off. Today, I actually forgot about work. It was quite nice. Something that I wish I could do more often. I will be returning to that park in the future.
We met up in Ueno where we really only stayed long enough to find some quick sushi and take a look at a guide book. We found a picture of a pretty bridge in a park so we decided to go and try and find it. It took some doing, and some wrong turns, and some random directions in Japanese, and a very long walk around a very tall wall within which we were positive the park was but we couldn't find an opening in the wall to save our lives. We did finally find and opening after practically circumventing the entire park. As soon as we walked in the gate we both breathed a little sigh and relaxed our shoulders a little bit. It was so green and delightful and so much quieter right away. We had decided that if it were any more than 500 yen entrance that we would jam. It was only 300 and so on we went. It is the oldest promenade park in Tokyo. Construction on it started back in like 1620 something and was completed like 23 years later. It used to be 4 times the current size, unbelievable. We spent like 3 and a half hours or so in there. We'd walk a bit and then sit on a bench and talk, or not. I took a few pictures. We met a cute old lady who came up to us with a bright smile and said 'Good Afternoon' and then continued walking past us saying 'Have a nice day'. We saw her moments later setting down to do some watercolours of the iris fields that we were walking around. She showed us a few pictures and then said 'Have a nice day' and we continued on. She was so sweet. We talked a lot. While sitting on top of the red bridge (the picture of which had originally drew us to find the park) I ventured to ask Michelle (the other one) about her dealings with culture shock because I've been thinking that I'm dealing with it but I wasn't sure. We talked for like the next forty minutes or so about shock and life here and it was so good to hear another person's struggles that so closely resembled mine. We talked about wanting to be independent from the "School Yard" mentality of so many of the other teachers, about being okay with not being friends with everyone, about being labeled by others because we aren't consumed by the school community, about being okay with where we are. I felt utterly refreshed after that talk. We had many good talks throughout the day. We talked about marriage and singleness, traveling, family, work, ideas and our takes on life and friendship. By the time we left the park I realized that I had actually not thought of the next day's classes for the first time in a very long time. I realized that when we were in the station I heard myself laugh, and it had been a long time since I had heard my own real laugh, I don't mean the laugh we give students when they're telling a story and we can't actually figure out what they're saying and so we just go along with the physical cues of when to laugh during the story. We decided that our new motto is, "I just needed to be here", when people ask us why we're in Japan.
We then decided that it was time to start scouting our dinner options. Michelle (the other one) was in the mood for a trendy little area, so we made our way towards Oomatosando, which is just north of Shibuya. At first the main roads just looked like any major street in a large city, but then we found these little side streets that were kind of kitchy and very European in flavour. I found an Aveda! I felt instantly relaxed when I walked in the door and smelled the oh so familiar small of all Aveda shops. We found a cute little upstairs Indian restaurant that we decided to have dinner at. We made complete pigs of ourselves. We had Nan AND Rice with our curry dishes. Soooo much food. We set out to walk off our dinner and find adventure. We found a University campus that we walked around, and got lost on. Then walking down a cute little street we were stopped by these Turkish guys to talk. We ended up going in to his kilm shop and talking with the one guy for at least an hour, if not more. He was pretty cool, and surprisingly enough, younger than us. He looked much older. He went into an expository about flowers and fruit. He was very funny. He had been in a court battle with Ted Turner over CNNasia.com. I guess he was a squatter on the address and Ted wanted it and claimed ownership of it. It was interesting. He was in the Turkish Time magazine because of it. Doesn't Ted own Time? I dunno. Interesting. His friends decided they wanted to some dinner, so the Michelles decided that it was time to start figuring out how to get home. We managed to walk to Shibuya fairly easily and caught the train from there.
I actually feel refreshed after today. The first time I've felt like that after a day off in a very long time. I usually just try to distract myself from the sense of impending doom that wells up within me on my day off. Today, I actually forgot about work. It was quite nice. Something that I wish I could do more often. I will be returning to that park in the future.
Wednesday, June 8, 2005
June 8, 2005
I got up much later than I had hoped. I spent half the night hunting. I seem to have gained 3 little friends in the middle of the night. Maybe four. I thought it was three. I killed 3 little m'skeeters, but then today at work I noticed that my arms are covered in these red spots. Not the usual mosquito bits, but there's no telling what else flew in last night...somehow...with the windows and shutters and screens closed. So I didn’t sleep that soundly.
After I was done teaching though, I had a great, fabulous time. I stayed at the school an extra hour and a half and I got almost all of my Wednesday classes' CPR's that are due next Friday, not even this Friday. CPR's are Class Progress Reports. They aren't that bad, they can just be time consuming when you have like six classes in a day, like I do on Wednesdays. It felt soooo good to get that done. I had some rice and tofu for dinner. And now I'm going to go read a blog that I check in on all the time and then curl up with Anna till the wee hours of the morning. I have tomorrow off!!!
After I was done teaching though, I had a great, fabulous time. I stayed at the school an extra hour and a half and I got almost all of my Wednesday classes' CPR's that are due next Friday, not even this Friday. CPR's are Class Progress Reports. They aren't that bad, they can just be time consuming when you have like six classes in a day, like I do on Wednesdays. It felt soooo good to get that done. I had some rice and tofu for dinner. And now I'm going to go read a blog that I check in on all the time and then curl up with Anna till the wee hours of the morning. I have tomorrow off!!!
Tuesday, June 7, 2005
June 7, 2005
I finished my book on the weekend. Thank you Chris French, it was quite excellent. The Deptford Trilogy by Robertson Davies.
So it meant that I had to go searching for some more reading material. Thankfully we have "the bookstore". At both main branches there are these bookcases full of random books that you can just take. They've all been left by previous teachers and anyone can take something (and keep it if they want to ship it back home, which I just may do with a Japanese cookbook) or leave something. It's quite fabulous. So I found this great little pocket of books last night that I decided that I couldn't live without. So, for the romantic at heart, I have just begun Anna Karenina by Tolstoy. And, for the cheerful dreamer in me, for when I'm done Anna, I also picked up War and Peace and Bleak House by Dickens. It may surprise my family that I have not yet read Bleak House as it's a Dickens novel and I absolutely devour all Dickens. There are still a few of his works out there that I have not read yet, not many, but they exist. When I first grabbed them, and they barely all fit in my bag, I thought sarcastically to myself, 'well, that should do me for the week', tee hee. So I started Anna today. I'm not too far off on the week thing. I got a little carried away. I finished about just under a seventh of the book today. Look out Dickens, here I come.
So it meant that I had to go searching for some more reading material. Thankfully we have "the bookstore". At both main branches there are these bookcases full of random books that you can just take. They've all been left by previous teachers and anyone can take something (and keep it if they want to ship it back home, which I just may do with a Japanese cookbook) or leave something. It's quite fabulous. So I found this great little pocket of books last night that I decided that I couldn't live without. So, for the romantic at heart, I have just begun Anna Karenina by Tolstoy. And, for the cheerful dreamer in me, for when I'm done Anna, I also picked up War and Peace and Bleak House by Dickens. It may surprise my family that I have not yet read Bleak House as it's a Dickens novel and I absolutely devour all Dickens. There are still a few of his works out there that I have not read yet, not many, but they exist. When I first grabbed them, and they barely all fit in my bag, I thought sarcastically to myself, 'well, that should do me for the week', tee hee. So I started Anna today. I'm not too far off on the week thing. I got a little carried away. I finished about just under a seventh of the book today. Look out Dickens, here I come.
Monday, June 6, 2005
Sunday, June 5, 2005
June 5, 2005
There is a receptionist at the school where I work on Mondays who is really cool. I was playing around with some music one day before class (we were doing a lesson on types of music so I brought in some CD's) and we got to talking about music. I told her that I have been known to sing now and again and that I used to sing in church all the time. She said that she plays the guitar and is in a Mandolin Club. That was a while back. Then a few weeks ago she brought in tickets for me to go to this huge concert that her Mandolin Club was putting on. I thought, sure, cool. Well, today was the concert and let me tell you, I have just come back from the symphony. They actually played many pieces that are symphony pieces (like Tchaikovsky) only instead of whole sections of violins and brass and winds, it was sections of different kinds of mandolins, basses and guitars. They also had, for a few pieces, one flute, one oboe, one clarinet and a percussion section. There was one man in the whole thing. It was spectacular. And I'm picky. They aren't the kind of mandolins that we're used to (I'm sure there's a name for the different kinds, but I'm completely ignorant), they have rounded backs and come in different sizes. Fabulous. It was just over two hours long. I was the only non-Japanese person in the whole building.
From there I went to what used to be the largest shopping mall in Japan. I hate malls. I went for one thing, and one thing only. Indian Food (made by people actually from India) Buffet. It's just under 1000 yen for dinner, and it's all you can eat, and I should have worn baggier clothing. I then went for a quick walk around the mall (I saw maybe a fifth of it, it's very large) and I have come to a conclusion: shopping here is no good because it's all so cool and cute and girlie and I can't wear any of it because it's made for miniature dolls. And yet the pants are too long!!! What's up with that? They're even short on me.
From there I went to what used to be the largest shopping mall in Japan. I hate malls. I went for one thing, and one thing only. Indian Food (made by people actually from India) Buffet. It's just under 1000 yen for dinner, and it's all you can eat, and I should have worn baggier clothing. I then went for a quick walk around the mall (I saw maybe a fifth of it, it's very large) and I have come to a conclusion: shopping here is no good because it's all so cool and cute and girlie and I can't wear any of it because it's made for miniature dolls. And yet the pants are too long!!! What's up with that? They're even short on me.
Saturday, June 4, 2005
June 4, 2005
Ryan is the best. Everyone should be like Ryan, but they can't cause he's the best. Marcus thinks he's my favourite. He should know that Ryan is my favourite. Because Ryan is the greatest, ever.
An Ode to Ryan
Ryan
Tall, Boney
Never phoney
So far away
He could make me stay
Ryan
Flyin
Through the air
Quickly, Prodigiously
So far awayly
Tall, not Mayan
Ryan
Let me digress for a moment...let's talk about me and my childhood. Some of my more favourite things to do were to: convince my little brother that dog food was good for you, he then acquired a taste for it and enjoyed it on his own; make forts out of blankets and chairs and live in them with my little brother for days; water ski and bogey board with my little brother until Grandpa wouldn't drive us anymore (read: dinner time); convince my little brother that Mum had made a new batch of apple juice and that he should try it, he then threw up; move our mattresses and sleep under the stairs with my little brother for months on end; rent really funny movies and watch them with my little brother and my friend Riley right after "Appendix Boy" (echo effect) had his appendix out; jump on my bed with my little brother, me in my Wonder Woman underoos, he in his Batman(?) underoos (I can't remember what they were, Spidey? Superman? Batman?); to listen to my little brother's extensive repertoire of jokes,
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mickey Mouse's Underwear
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mickey Mouse's Underwear
Knock, knock...;
watch Animaniacs with my little brother after school (when we had cable); try and guess which of my friends my little brother would marry, I was convinced it would be Connie, Carol wanted it to be her, Riley didn't; convince someone to take me and my little brother to the jump so we could slide down it; play in the backyard up in the trees with my little brother until it was cold and dark; and finally, to say goodnight to my little brother through the heating vent in the wall every night.
So now that I have talked about myself enough, let's talk about Ryan, it is his birthday today after all. Ryan is boney. He can reduce me to tears just by sitting on me. He grew very tall, very fast. This took me by surprise. He got much stronger than me, very quickly. This, too, took me by surprise. He's smarter than me, although he doesn't think so. He's better than he thinks he is. And his wife is totally hot! He makes me laugh more than he knows. He makes me cry more than I'll ever let on. He's the best. And if anyone does anything to ever hurt him, I will take them out in very slow and painful ways so that they will cry for death as the greatest mercy.
I miss him the greatest of all.
Friday, June 3, 2005
June 3, 2005
I used to believe that it could not be possible for me to hate a child. I couldn't imagine that there would be a child out there in the world that I could actually hate. I have found that child. He makes me so angry that I can feel the anger welling up in me with every passing second in his presence. I do not believe in yelling at a kid (unless it's the "he won't hear me unless I speak really loudly because there's too much noise around us" kind of situation), I believe in being firm. I yell at least once during every class that I have with him. Are there children that I have met that I don't particularly like? Yes. There's the junior high boy that is just annoying, I don't like him, but I do not hate him. There are other children that I have met elsewhere that I have not enjoyed being around, they're annoying, they're spoiled, they're obnoxious, but I do not hate them. There are some students that I wish weren't in my classes, but if invited to go to the park with their family I would probably go and we would run around in circles and be quite content. As with many people (young and old alike), there are many that I meet that I don't particularly like due to circumstances and if we were in different situations I would probably at least have a civil relationship with, if not more. There are some people who if you never saw them again you probably would never think of them again. I'm sure I could think of some, but their presence in my life is so inconsequential that I have forgotten about them. I could conceivably never see this child again, and I would never bemoan the loss, in fact I would rejoice. I look forward to Wednesday, March 22nd, 2006 when the Japanese government has decreed that I must leave the country, and therefore never see this child ever again. There is my most dreaded class of High School kids on Mondays that I would much rather teach one class every day from now until the day I leave, than to have to teach that one kid in his class one more time.
So Michelle, how was your day?
Well, see I have this class of these really great kids that could be learning a lot, but then there's this kid...
So Michelle, how was your day?
Well, see I have this class of these really great kids that could be learning a lot, but then there's this kid...
Thursday, June 2, 2005
June 2, 2005
It's a sad day. I'm almost out of peanut butter. I will have to make a trek to either Shin-Tsudanuma or Murakami to find some more.
Last night I had like no sleep. I couldn't get to sleep, and then just as I was about to fall asleep, there'd be a little earthquake. I got shaken out of my "almost"-sleep like 3 times last night. We had like 1 bigger earthquake yesterday (that I mentioned yesterday) during class, then like 2 little ones during my adult class, then like three or four more little ones over the course of the night that most people, unless you were trying to get to sleep, didn't even notice. I noticed. Terribly annoying.
Last night I had like no sleep. I couldn't get to sleep, and then just as I was about to fall asleep, there'd be a little earthquake. I got shaken out of my "almost"-sleep like 3 times last night. We had like 1 bigger earthquake yesterday (that I mentioned yesterday) during class, then like 2 little ones during my adult class, then like three or four more little ones over the course of the night that most people, unless you were trying to get to sleep, didn't even notice. I noticed. Terribly annoying.
Wednesday, June 1, 2005
June 1, 2005
Teaching wasn't too bad today, just very long. I teach from 2 til 9:30, with minimal breaks in between. I'm supposed to have some breaks in there, but they seem to keep getting filled up with Trial Lessons. In one of my classes today one of the boys, Kenshou (he's ten, he's one of my favourites), wasn't feeling so good. I asked him what was wrong and he started going off into this long explanation in Japanese, complete with diagrams on the board. I just kept nodding and then shaking my head in sympathy and saying "mmmm, mhm, yeah, oh, mhm" like as if I knew what he was saying. Then in the middle of one of my private classes we had a substantial earthquake. Not earth shattering or anything, just earth shaking. Ha! Oh, I'm so funny. My student freaked out more than I did. And the weather wasn't so bad either. It was only 27 degrees today. It's currently, at 11 pm, 22 degrees at 73% humidity.
In my adult class tonight we had some very interesting conversations. I quoted Broken Heart. We were talking about divorce as part of the Unit. One of the questions was "Should the parents explain to the children why they are getting divorced?" They're pretty advanced (this is the class that Taeko and Masanobu are in) but all I could really get out of the two students who were there (both middle aged men) was "Oh, I don't know". So I pulled in some big guns. "So, if the parents are getting divorced, should they say to the kids 'Well, Mummy and Daddy just don't love each other any more, so Daddy's going to move away' 'But, but…' 'Now Lisa, you want Mummy and Daddy to happy, don't you?' Should they have to explain the reason?" To which, Masanobu replied with laughter (does he know BH as well??) and said "That's not a reason!!". Ah, what wisdom. I told him it was pretty common for people to get divorced because they don't love each other. They were both appalled. What a difference in perceptions and standards. Masanobu said he wants to live in North America. Masanobu was once in love with a girl in his early twenties. His family had already arranged for a girl for him to marry, so he met that girl on their wedding day and has been married to her since then. He hasn't seen the first girl again. Is this somehow wrong? We had a discussion once up at Malibu (of which I was barely a part of, only I kept some distance as I could see it would go horribly bad) about whether we would agree to an arranged marriage. Some of us said we would, some jokingly said they would just for the sake of argument, others were just as appalled at the thought of an arranged marriage as Masanobu and Susumu were at the thought of getting a divorce because you don't love the person you're married to. Terribly interesting. I can't help but think that there's something to trusting your parents who love you and want the best for you to choose someone who would be a good match. Makes me want to talk to more people who are in arranged marriages. I don't feel right talking to Masanobu about it because he's a man, but I would love to talk to a woman about her feelings and perceptions and whether she has any regrets. It's interesting that when I open up the class to the fabulous game of "Question Bombardment", where one student is bombarded for 2 minutes straight by the other students with any possible questions they can think of then the first student has to answer as many as they can remember, that it's almost always one of the first questions that Masanobu asks "Is (or was) your marriage a love marriage?"
Email me, as adult children, would you trust your parents to an arranged marriage? As parents, what would you consider for your child if you were to be the one who was to decide who they were to marry? I want to know what you think.
In my adult class tonight we had some very interesting conversations. I quoted Broken Heart. We were talking about divorce as part of the Unit. One of the questions was "Should the parents explain to the children why they are getting divorced?" They're pretty advanced (this is the class that Taeko and Masanobu are in) but all I could really get out of the two students who were there (both middle aged men) was "Oh, I don't know". So I pulled in some big guns. "So, if the parents are getting divorced, should they say to the kids 'Well, Mummy and Daddy just don't love each other any more, so Daddy's going to move away' 'But, but…' 'Now Lisa, you want Mummy and Daddy to happy, don't you?' Should they have to explain the reason?" To which, Masanobu replied with laughter (does he know BH as well??) and said "That's not a reason!!". Ah, what wisdom. I told him it was pretty common for people to get divorced because they don't love each other. They were both appalled. What a difference in perceptions and standards. Masanobu said he wants to live in North America. Masanobu was once in love with a girl in his early twenties. His family had already arranged for a girl for him to marry, so he met that girl on their wedding day and has been married to her since then. He hasn't seen the first girl again. Is this somehow wrong? We had a discussion once up at Malibu (of which I was barely a part of, only I kept some distance as I could see it would go horribly bad) about whether we would agree to an arranged marriage. Some of us said we would, some jokingly said they would just for the sake of argument, others were just as appalled at the thought of an arranged marriage as Masanobu and Susumu were at the thought of getting a divorce because you don't love the person you're married to. Terribly interesting. I can't help but think that there's something to trusting your parents who love you and want the best for you to choose someone who would be a good match. Makes me want to talk to more people who are in arranged marriages. I don't feel right talking to Masanobu about it because he's a man, but I would love to talk to a woman about her feelings and perceptions and whether she has any regrets. It's interesting that when I open up the class to the fabulous game of "Question Bombardment", where one student is bombarded for 2 minutes straight by the other students with any possible questions they can think of then the first student has to answer as many as they can remember, that it's almost always one of the first questions that Masanobu asks "Is (or was) your marriage a love marriage?"
Email me, as adult children, would you trust your parents to an arranged marriage? As parents, what would you consider for your child if you were to be the one who was to decide who they were to marry? I want to know what you think.
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