Ryan is the best. Everyone should be like Ryan, but they can't cause he's the best. Marcus thinks he's my favourite. He should know that Ryan is my favourite. Because Ryan is the greatest, ever.
An Ode to Ryan
Ryan
Tall, Boney
Never phoney
So far away
He could make me stay
Ryan
Flyin
Through the air
Quickly, Prodigiously
So far awayly
Tall, not Mayan
Ryan
Let me digress for a moment...let's talk about me and my childhood. Some of my more favourite things to do were to: convince my little brother that dog food was good for you, he then acquired a taste for it and enjoyed it on his own; make forts out of blankets and chairs and live in them with my little brother for days; water ski and bogey board with my little brother until Grandpa wouldn't drive us anymore (read: dinner time); convince my little brother that Mum had made a new batch of apple juice and that he should try it, he then threw up; move our mattresses and sleep under the stairs with my little brother for months on end; rent really funny movies and watch them with my little brother and my friend Riley right after "Appendix Boy" (echo effect) had his appendix out; jump on my bed with my little brother, me in my Wonder Woman underoos, he in his Batman(?) underoos (I can't remember what they were, Spidey? Superman? Batman?); to listen to my little brother's extensive repertoire of jokes,
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mickey Mouse's Underwear
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mickey Mouse's Underwear
Knock, knock...;
watch Animaniacs with my little brother after school (when we had cable); try and guess which of my friends my little brother would marry, I was convinced it would be Connie, Carol wanted it to be her, Riley didn't; convince someone to take me and my little brother to the jump so we could slide down it; play in the backyard up in the trees with my little brother until it was cold and dark; and finally, to say goodnight to my little brother through the heating vent in the wall every night.
So now that I have talked about myself enough, let's talk about Ryan, it is his birthday today after all. Ryan is boney. He can reduce me to tears just by sitting on me. He grew very tall, very fast. This took me by surprise. He got much stronger than me, very quickly. This, too, took me by surprise. He's smarter than me, although he doesn't think so. He's better than he thinks he is. And his wife is totally hot! He makes me laugh more than he knows. He makes me cry more than I'll ever let on. He's the best. And if anyone does anything to ever hurt him, I will take them out in very slow and painful ways so that they will cry for death as the greatest mercy.
I miss him the greatest of all.
