I don't like my Wednesday classes. There's like 2 students in the whole day that I actually like. The rest I just tolerate. It's exhausting pretending to like people and find them interesting.
I have had a blinding head ache for two straight days now. It's like a piercing pain right from the back of my brain into my optical nerves out my eyes. It makes it even harder to pretend to like people.
I'm not having the greatest of weeks. I love how the Psalms always seem to put words to the cries of my heart. I think that Sunday was about the only day that I haven't cried since Friday night.
Psalm 69
1 Save me, O God,
for the waters have come up to my neck.
2 I sink in the miry depths,
where there is no foothold.
I have come into the deep waters;
the floods engulf me.
3 I am worn out calling for help;
my throat is parched.
My eyes fail,
looking for my God.
4 Those who hate me without reason
outnumber the hairs of my head;
many are my enemies without cause,
those who seek to destroy me.
I am forced to restore
what I did not steal.
5 You know my folly, O God;
my guilt is not hidden from you.
6Don't let those who look to you in hope
Be discouraged by what happens to me,
Dear Lord! GOD of the armies!
Don't let those out looking for you
Come to a dead end by following me--
Please, dear God of Israel!
13And me? I pray.
GOD, it's time for a break!
God, answer in love!
Answer with your sure salvation!
14Rescue me from the swamp,
Don't let me go under for good,
Pull me out of the clutch of the enemy;
This whirlpool is sucking me down.
15Don't let the swamp be my grave, the Black Hole
Swallow me, its jaws clenched around me.
16Now answer me, GOD, because you love me;
Let me see your great mercy full-face.
17Don't look the other way; your servant can't take it.
I'm in trouble. Answer right now!
18Come close, God; get me out of here.
Rescue me from this deathtrap.
20 Scorn has broken my heart
and has left me helpless;
I looked for sympathy, but there was none,
for comforters, but I found none.
29I'm hurt and in pain;
Give me space for healing, and mountain air.
30Let me shout God's name with a praising song,
Let me tell his greatness in a prayer of thanks.
31For GOD, this is better than oxen on the altar,
Far better than blue-ribbon bulls.
32The poor in spirit see and are glad--
Oh, you God--seekers, take heart!
33For GOD listens to the poor,
He doesn't walk out on the wretched.
34You heavens, praise him; praise him, earth;
Also ocean and all things that swim in it.
35For God is out to help Zion,
Rebuilding the wrecked towns of Judah.
Guess who will live there--
The proud owners of the land?
36No, the children of his servants will get it,
The lovers of his name will live in it.
I never said this journal would always be a lot of fun and cheery. Just honest.
