I slept for like 13 hours last night. I had a weird dream about spiders. Lots of spiders in Harry Potter. And I had a weird dream that I was living somewhere random, by the sea but Japanese speaking and Dad came to visit me and we had to go grocery shopping but things worked differently and he kept making mistakes. I was living in a big house with people, I think mostly boys, and this young thing kept coming to the door while only Dad was home and making him uncomfortable because she wouldn't go away, so I went to the door the next time she came around asking for some of the boys by name (I can't remember the names) and I told her off and she kind of went away. At one point, as I was going into the grocery store there was something about a kid, either I saw a kid, or had a kid with me. I can't remember specifics, a lot of it is just feelings that there was something there. It was really random and really vivid.
I am feeling really torn about going home now. I really don't want to stay and I really don't want to teach. I actually feel a rising sense of panic when I think of having to teach on any given day, even though I totally know what I'm doing now. I am having a hard time thinking of home and thinking of plans for when I get home because that means thinking of leaving and I don't want to do that. So it means that I can't make plans for Canada and then because I don't have anything set I'm all foggy and flustered here. I know I'll be fine, it's just the way I feel right now.
