July 15, 2005

The chips I ate last night, and then couldn't resist again tonight, are evidently Ranch. I should have stopped eating them right away, but I just couldn't not eat them. I wanted crunchy. I then proceeded to spend most of the rest of the night near my toilet. I didn’t actually throw up, although I kind of wish I had. Then maybe I would be turned off tortilla chips for a time. Why am I telling this story? Because it reminded me of why I have been so frustrated by Japanese washrooms before. There is a room with a door and nothing but a toilet inside. No sink, no anything, but the toilet. Seems like a good idea, keep the 'business' by itself, right, so that you aren't having to deal with the boy's business' lingering joys while you're brushing your teeth. Sounds good in theory. But then there are the times when you really want nothing more than to cower in the corner next to your new best friend, the toilet. And quite frankly it is at this point that the tiny little room becomes a problem. There is not enough room between the toilet and the wall to really prop yourself up so that you can kind of half sleep and still be ready for action. There is no where to get some water to drink, but from the toilet and although I've heard dogs mouths are cleaner than humans I don't believe that this study was done in the presence of a bathroom, so I'm not going to follow suit. But the real problem is that the door is not like a regular door. I mean, it is, in that it looks like a regular Western door. The Japanese haven't really perfected the adoption of Western doors. I kind of go with the thinking of, either get it right, or stick to what you had, it was working for you so well, so why change. But whatever, that's not my call. What happens with Western doors is that they are hung on a ledge. In most places if there is a Western door then the floor is not continuous. It goes, floor, floor, floor, oh! great big three inch high and four inch wide sill, floor, floor, floor. How I am supposed to lie down across this as I am asking my stomach to be merciful on me and praying that it all comes out my mouth as opposed to re-routing out my nose. That's really awful. I mean, when these are the cares that are greatest in your mind, why must you contend with a great big ledge poking you in the hips or ribs? The environment in which you may be contemplating whether it is physically possible for you throw up your spleen should be as hassle free as possible. You shouldn't have greater barriers, like 3 X 4 barriers, to overcome. At least this is my take. Maybe I'm asking too much. I do have to admit that I am eternally grateful that they have so widely adopted Western toilets in residences. Otherwise I might be having more of an issue than just a ledge. I would be more concerned with being too close to the porcelain as there is only one other choice from the Western toilet.