Today was my second day of teaching. I was not impressed. So all week we had this "training" which was essentially going over the working regulations and like 2 hours with Margaret going over teaching techniques, sort of. And then we spent the better of a day and a half just doing lesson planning for our up coming classes on Friday. That was great. But then I hit today. No prep time. I went into the school waaaay early because I didn’t even know what texts the classes were using, let alone where they were in it. Classes started at 12:30 so it didn’t leave a tonne of time to plan. It was a playgroup then 3 three classes all in a row of Primary 2, Primary 2 3 4 and then another playgroup. We didn’t talk about playgroups at all really in the "training" time. They pretty much just said, just play with the kids in English. Okay, good in theory. So what if you have a kid that won’t get out from under the table. And then when he finally warms up to you he and his friend have decided among their little gang of chaotic 4 year olds that now is the time to run around in circles and to lay on top of the giant story book and wriggle around so that they rip it from its binding. If we’re just playing then that’s fine (other than the ripping), I love playing under the table, but the idea is that they’re supposed to be learning English through directed play, in front of their mothers no less. The other playgroup I had was two precious little girls. One is four and has just come back from a year in English Playschool. The other is six and cries when I look at her and has never been exposed to English at all. Completely different levels of language and social abilities. What am I supposed to do to make mum who is sitting with us feel better about the money she’s spending to teach her kid English. I was completely overwhelmed with the amount of planning I had to do with no ideas of levels and like 2 hours to plan for all 5 classes. I have determined after today that I’m not the fan of Kindies classes that I thought I would be. I thought that they would be my favourite, because let’s be honest, who doesn’t want to get paid to just play with kids, but it’s just different.
So I was working with this other teacher today. He’s the usual kind of guy that likes to talk to me because I don’t offend easily. Scandalized maybe, but not offended. He was trying to be good, I could tell, because it was the first time we’d worked together. He’s not the most optimistic person on the face of the planet. He knows everything, just ask him. And yet there are a few things that he probably does have down, just don’t tell him I said that. He said two things over the course of the day that intrigued me.
The first thing is that people, gaijin, foreigners are in Japan for one of three reasons and everyone is one of them: Cash, Dash or Flash. Cash is obvious, it’s the people who thought they could make good money here, he says they’re fools, I’d have to agree with him there. It’s just too expensive to live to make good money, you can break even, I’m convinced of it but I guess we’ll see if I’m right. Dash is someone trying to get away from where they are, he likened it to skipping bail. I said that wasn’t me, he tried to convince me that it wasn’t him either but I’m pretty sure he could have a warrant out there for him somewhere. Not anything serious, but some misunderstanding that could land him is serious trouble...probably involving either a fight or a woman, or a fight over a woman. Flash is the person who has their camera going on the plane. They are taken by all that is not what they are used to and want to "Experience all that Japan has to offer". They’re the dreamers with rose coloured glasses. I would think they would be the ones whom culture shock hits the worst because they’ve disillusioned themselves and then reality will hit. We determined that I’m a Dash just by default. We just aren’t sure what I’m running from yet. If anything, it did make me question just why am I here? That’s one of the most common questions from people here, other teachers, adult students, Why did you decide to come to Japan? Good question. I asked myself that when I was on the plane. How the heck did I end up here? I really don’t know. I want to think that I really just wanted to get into a classroom and see if I could actually like this. What parts do I like the most? Maybe it’s because I still don’t know "what I want to do with my life" and although I have always been a proponent of "what ever happens is what I’m doing with my life" but maybe this is my version of a mid life crisis, maybe it’s a quarter life crisis of trying to figure out what the heck I’m doing. I have always said that I need to have a greater purpose in what I’m doing, not just making money for the sake of money, but maybe this is my search for a meaning career, not just a job.
The second thing that he realized when he was living and working teaching English in Korea that he was just a white gaijin monkey. He went with some greater grandiose idea of teaching and having an impact on people’s lives and they just kept trying to make him into a white monkey. He said it’s much easier when you realize that’s what you are and so just be what you are as opposed to trying to fight it. What he means by white gaijin monkey is that EFL Teaching is a business. It’s a moneymaker, it’s huge business for many people. Some of the schools are easy to see through (like Nova) that it’s very evident to a lot of people that they’re in it for the Sales. Some smaller school look like they’re about teaching, and given, I think that a lot of them (like our boss) believe that they are. But the reality is that it’s a business, not a school, and you’re an employee, not a teacher. It may sound very defeatist, like I said, he’s not the most optimistic person I don’t think anyone would ever charge him with being a dreamer, but it helped me get through today in so many ways. The biggest was being faced with a class of 3 eight year old boys who are supposed to be finishing this one text and moving on to the next. The reality is that they should NOT be going anywhere but back to the beginning of the text they’re in and relearning it because they know practically none of it except the Flashcards they’ve memorized. And even at that it’s like 4 per week. Not a tonne for where they should be. So I was feeling really discouraged because I’m thinking, ‘I’m their teacher, I have to work at getting these guys back on track and getting them to the point where they can succeed at this new book’. And then I remembered what the other teacher had said and I left that class saying, "Well, so that’s another text for the parents to buy and to feel like their kids are going to be a leg up on another kid on a school application because they can 'speak' English". Again, it may sound defeatist but today it completely saved my sanity and I think it just may get me through this year.
I went into this week thinking that I didn’t like Junior Highers. And back home, they still scare the crap out of me. But the kids here I guess are so...I don’t know, I’m missing the word. I want to say squashed, but that’s not at all accurate. They are really, really busy kids that have huge amounts of pressure on their shoulders to succeed and do well at school. It’s like that amount of pressure has made them very serious. I have enjoyed the High School and Adult students I’ve had so far so much more because we’re actually able to talk and they have the mental resources to say, "I don’t understand" as opposed to the younger ones (especially the really young) who break down when they don’t understand, either tantrums, or crying, or reclusive behaviour.
The Junior Highers have been the biggest surprise for me so far, or should I say the biggest pleasant surprise. The unpleasant surprise was how much I didn’t like the Kindie classes which are 3-6 years old. Not that I don’t like the kids. I do. They’re great, they’re often really bright, if not hiding under the table, they laugh at my jokes even when I’m not telling them and they make me smile...I just don’t want to feel like I’m having to teach them something in a certain way, with a format, on a schedule, with their parents watching.
Yui, the one who likes it under the table so much, thinks I’m the funniest thing he’s ever seen. I ask him a question and he laughs and laughs. I put down a flash card and he laughs and laughs. I mumble something sarcastic in English under my breath and he evidently does speak perfect English because he laughs, and laughs. He and Kenshin and I like to read stories under the table together. And then Kenshin rolls on the books...under the table. We like it there. Their mothers must think I’m crazy. And then at the end of the class, get this, They apologize to Me for their kids! What is that about?? They’re four and they’re in a classroom, with a crazy white lady who likes to crawl under tables. I was probably in a closet or under a table at that age too, heck I still do when I’m overwhelmed. Well, on second thought I was probably more like the little girl who was four and wanted to do nothing else but sing songs and could practically read the Little Critter’s story all by herself because she’d seen it so many times. She was a huge surprise today. I bring out the book and she says "bags" and points to all the bags on the page, and "bunny" and "cat" and counting to 10. She’s four and supposedly this is her first class. But she’s the one who had been in America this last year so her English is really good. Too bad that she’ll loose it in the next year, even in my class. There’s just nothing here to equal language exposure every single day from a variety of sources.
