I have been pretty busy the last few days and it kinda feels good. I think that I was being too lazy and spending too much time thinking. Today I didn't get up as early as I had hoped for, but I was still able to get in to plan for my five classes (I got 2 extras tacked on) and then when I was done teaching I was able to get my planning for Tuesday all ready which will be a life saver that morning. The one thing that I was aware of through the day was how I felt about the kids I was with. My first class was Yui and Kenshin (plus others) and they have a special place in my heart. Yui was the one who it took like a month to get him to come out from under the table when I first started. Kenshin was actually relatively well behaved today, which was astounding, but more than that he was really close to me. We were looking at the wallchart of the text page, which we'll never do again because they practically ripped it apart, and he came and sat next to me behind the rest of the kids and he sat really close and I realized that I had put my arm around him and he was just sitting there really content. It was just a tender moment and really sweet that he felt comfortable with me and it touched my heart. I'm really going to miss a lot of these kids. A lot of them I won't, but there will always be a few that in 5 years I will wonder, "What did they turn out like? What are they doing now?"
So after work and staying an extra two hours to get stuff done, I got home and was feeling fairly invigorated. I decided to go for a run. I haven't run in like 4 months! I was a little afraid of what it was going to be like but I dropped everything as soon as I walked in, got changed and headed right out the door. I knew that if I didn't move quickly, I would get settled in and that would be the end of me for the night. I ran for a good 20 minutes without stopping or getting winded and felt really good doing it. It was an amazing experience to be able to go out for a run and have it not be a big deal. I wasn't dead tired or winded or in pain. It was just a run. I just needed to move. This must be what other people feel like when they exercise!! I was really surprised that my heart rate was a bit up but not thumping in my ears. I must be in better shape than I thought and it's inspiring me to continue living healthily when I return to Canada. I'm excited for working out to not be a big deal and something that I can go do if I have a spare half hour or hour.
After running, I rinsed off quickly and called LeeAnne to see if they were still up for having company. She had invited me over before, so I went off, feeling good about exercising, which of course lead to another 15 minute bike ride which is so good for me. We hung out a bit and they fed me salad and then we watched a video of a preacher they like. It was interesting. He definitely preaches the word and does so boldly, but it's almost too much. I felt like I was being yelled at and that he had a sort of righteous indignation about him that was bordering arrogance. He had a few good points but I had some real issues when he talked about kicking people out of the church (Christians, not non-believers) who had sin in their lives that they were unrepentant of. He picked an unfortunate example that made me mad. And of course, he had scripture (mostly of the rich young ruler, and I think it was Corinthians) to back up his position and justify "acting in love". I understand the premise of not being permissive, but I think there should be a balance of screaming at someone supposedly "in love" and "as a brother", and truly loving a person. There's nothing I hate more, well I'm sure there is but it would be a top of my list thing, than people within the church who say they are calling you on the sin in your life because it's what we're called to do as brothers and sisters. You don't know my sin and I don't know yours so back off. If you are a true friend and have a right and place in my life to call me on something then you will know how to do that in a way so that I will respond positively because you know me. I can't see the benefit of being yelled at by a practical stranger. Made me feel like I should just give up and go and live on the "Dark Side".
He spoke also about the 10 virgins who were waiting for the bride groom and many of them ran out of oil. It was an interesting take that most of us hadn't heard before. They were all waiting for the bridegroom, they all had lamps, they all had light, they even all fell asleep. But not all of them went with the bridegroom when he arrived. The ones who had run out of oil hadn't given up everything, back at the camping goods store, to buy all the oil they could possibly get. What got me was that they were all waiting, they were all the same except for the amount that they had given to buy all they could. It made me feel like God was saying, "You will be one of the ones who will not get to come with me. I will say to you, 'I don't know you'". Made me want to give up. Which was probably not the intended purpose of the preacher, but that's where it left me.
